• A Note from Dr. K

    A special note to the sisterhood — Be blessed with a super Thanksgiving Day.  May it be peaceful — may it be filled with love — may you get your fair share of turkey.

    LY all a Dillion,
    Mama K

  • Anonymous

    Thank you to all the reclaimers for all of your love, support, kindness, and encouragement. Reclaim has started the healing and restoring process and I can not thank you enough.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    The most amazing process is happening within me.  First, the Banquet was an incredible success.  Wow, did I have fun, and everyone was so beautiful.  Second, I have finished my last Women’s ReClaim Conference this year — and we are now all stepping into the next vision.  Let’s do it ladies — let’s go to the world! (More to come on that.)  Last, I’m completing tomorrow the Men’s Intensive Conference — ohmygoose — how incredible these sessions have been.  I just can’t explain it.  How could anyone but God Himself — be this good to me.  I am being blessed beyond words, and these men are being blessed beyond my comprehension.  Ladies, I love you all.  We will assemble again soon.  LY a Dillion, Dr. K

  • kate

    I don’t know what I’m feeling maybe just fooling myself,  Tonight on my way home from the store it came to me that I was repeating one of the habits I’ve always done. When somethings over in life I cut it off and never revisit it. I don’t want to do that anymore.  I met so many wonderful women and I don’t want to lose touch with any of you.  Thank you Dr. Kaye for equipping us with tools to continue this life. I’am also new to CJAX , I moved here in July from WA state. I don’t know anyone other than the people I say hi to and hug on Wednesday and Sunday.  Thanks, Kay

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Kate — you looked so marvelous at the banquet.  You were the belle of the ball.  I loved it…and I LY too.  Dr. K  PS.  Just hang in there — we will assemble again soon, before the end of the year.

  • Lin

    Hi ReClaimers ! Not much posting going on since the conference, I see…wonder why…bummer…was hoping to read some stuff I could relate too…regardless – the ReClaim process certainly is ongoing long after the conference and I’m certainly going onward, too…

    I just need to share something: I have only JUST NOW decided to go to the banquet…I said I would…then I said I wouldn’t…(did that several times)…I bought a dress…then I brought it back…I’ve been back and forth on it so much that my decision was finally decided purely out of a need to stop the conflict….why? – well, because I resist getting dressed up…it’s a trigger…and this was my first ReClaim session…and it tore me up…and left me open…anytime I looked good I was called a “whore”…by my very violent adoptive mother…who was married to my very “holy & well respected in the community” perpetrator…also, I’m new at CJax…I don’t really “know” anyone…and it’s a trigger…DID I MENTION IT’S A TRIGGER…arrrggghhh….also, a “drug addicted ex-husband porn king wanna be” made me dress up for him…like a “whore”…God Help Me…BUT…I’m pressing onward…I am putting the blame & shame where it belongs…like I said, for me the ReClaim process is certainly on going day by day…what’s really weird is that it’s taken me up until only just the last few days to feel like a normal (whatever that is) person since the conference…I’m almost afraid the banquet will put it all back in my face !!!  Ok…so now you know…I shared it…non the less, I’m putting one foot in front of the other…I’ll see you there…in red…

    • A Note from Dr. K

      My hubby said he ran into your hubby — and he said they hit it off!  Yay.  The banquet was awesome!  Wow oh wow — how can I ever measure all of my friends.  You are invaluable to me.  LY Lin…
      We will reassemble soon…before the years out.

  • Anonymous

    DK, I think you will be proud of me, for not parking on crazy street. Its so funny how I have been helping you for 4 yrs, but I’m changing more recently. Yes, there was a lot of changes when I went through Reclaim, but I didn’t freak out at a situation that is happening to me. People are accusing me of things at work. And not even before the confernce, I would have complained and complained, yelled, freaked out, thought I was getting fired, became depressed, and had upset stomach for awhile. but something happened today, and yes I complained (still working on that one), but I felt so calm. I didn’t worry about losing my job, I wasn’t extremly mad, I didn’t have to keep on depending myself, etc. I just listened to what my boss had to say, and saw that I was wrong in this situation, and told him so. Even if I was wrong before, I listened to my defender voice, and would have kept defending myself. I want to also say the other changes that has happened to me since my reclaim. I have psoted this before, but I thought the new reclaimers might benifit from it. before Reclaim, I would be bogged down for months with an upset stomch, depresson, negative thinking, and demanding attitude. If I thought I hurt someone’s feelings, I would think about it night and day for months. I was always saying sorry, and even then, I would feel that I was worthless, and I would wish I was dead. I always thought my life stunk, that noone liked or loved me, and that others wer out to get me. after reclaim, this went from months, (thinking and cating like this) to sveral weeks. then, SLOWLY, it went from weeks to days, to days to all day, from all day to now where it can last one day. Sometimes, I slip into these old behaviors and thoughts, because I think human being like what is comfortable for them, but then I come to a Reclaim confernce, and I am reminded why I act that way, and that I don’t have to act that way. I feel happy that I handled myself in a normal adult way today. And Im glad I have/ had Reclaim to help me improve my life. also, Im so gald to have you and all my Reclaim sisters.

    • Lin

       Thank You Sarabell – wow, is this ever helpful…I guess I needed to know from my ReClaim sisterhood that I’m ok as I process and walk out my process…several things you say here – heck, what am I saying – actually EVERYTHING you said here is helpful…but what’s exceptionally helpful to me is that even though you’ve been a part of the ReClaim journey for 4 years you’re still actively walking out the ReClaim process…that is so encouraging to me…thank you…you just helped me breathe in a breath of fresh air.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Sara — you out danced me at the Banquet.  GOOD FOR YOU.  If I had to give up my spot — I can’t think of anyone I’d rather give it up to you than you!  You were gorgeous, too.  LY Dr. K

  • Erin Pruett

    Almost a week has passed since the last ReClaim night and I
    can honestly say that each day there has been something that I have remembered
    that was said during ReClaim. There are many things that I learned, but one
    simple thing is just honor the process. Life is a process, and healing is a
    process. It is important to continue to progress each day and be willing to
    always assess and make changes as needed. I learned a lot through ReClaim and
    now look forward to being able to apply it to my life one day at a time!

    More specific to the final night, I was truly impacted by
    the experience of going back and getting the little girl (me) and then bringing
    her to today. I live in the present so much that remembering me as a little
    girl was a good experience. I see kids all the time, and I love them but I
    rarely think of myself as a young child. What was said about helping little
    kids to really help yourself really stuck with me! Perhaps there is something
    in me that wants to help hurting children because I remember being a hurting
    child. I do feel that God can use my experience to help others, but I know that
    this helping needs to be in a healthy way and not out of something lacking in
    my own life.

    I will continue to process all that happened in ReClaim for
    a while. I took so many notes that I will look over and I am sure what I wrote will
    impact me again and again. I look forward to staying in contact with many of
    the ReClaimers and a huge thanks to each of them that played a part in my
    continued healing! Thank you to the many women that supported each of us
    through the process and helped us by giving us hugs, truth, and acceptance!
    Finally, thank you Dr. Kaye! I saw in you unconditional love and acceptance for
    each woman and the ability to meet each person exactly where they are. This is
    not something that I see often and I truly appreciated being given this love
    and acceptance, while also being given truth. Thank you!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I mentioned how the ReClaim process continues well after the conference sessions.  I see things all the time about myself; and when situations are revealed, I confront them head on.  I really hoped you would be in town for the banquet.  My well wishes to you on your travels…be safe…and keep in touch. LY Dr. K

      • Erin Pruett

         I will absolutely keep in touch!

  • Jolene

    Dear My Sisters and Momma (Best Friend),
    I wanted to just say HI and tell you all that I deeply love you all.. Alot of times in the Conferences I let my anxiety get the best of me and focus on the negatives, This time ladies.. I let my emotions rule my mouth and if I ever said anything to hurt you or offend you.. Well I am truly sorry, but understand that I only want the B.S in your life to STOP! I say things that you and others are scared to say.. I call it like I see it! And for that.. Ladies I am grateful! I wanted to make sure that I was helping instead of hurting and healing instead hoarding feelings! I will always give you the love you deserve from me, always respect you for understanding my way of trying to help! I get a bit… How do you say..??.. “ANNOYING” at times and I know this for a fact because I see your “STINK Eyes”– you know who you are! LOL LOL But I spent many years in a very angry and sad place, I am the last of 3 girls and was always left at the wayside, I guess this explains why I was the choice of my perp.. and I grew up with this notion that I was the “Baby” of the family.. But as I grew older, I found that I was and still am the “Odd” one! My mother’s side of the family in the past 10 years has totally ignored me, my children and my abuse.., But that’s ok ladies, I DO NOT need their acceptance, I DO not need their LOVE and I DO not need their TOXIC behaviors or family feeling.. If they did not protect me, they sure as hell would not protect my children.. So I am ok with them staying up their own asses.. My wish for them is to find their authentic selves.. :0)
    I have all the family I need.. My blood family and My family that has washed the blood of sexual abuse off of me… Reclaim! Alot of new sisters say to me.. ” Jolene, your strength and courage is something I could never have!” Well what I have to say to them is just this.. ” Yes you can! And if you don’t have the words I will say them for you!” I have respected the process and I am so grateful that I have you all to share that with.. Momma Kaye, You know that I love you with all the heart God gave me and More.. I have loved you from 2004 until forever, You keep my life in perspective inside and outside of Reclaim and I am who I am because of YOU! Shannon is the best sister I could ever ask for, There is always an open ear from her.. She has seen me at my worst and at my best! But in conclusion: Like I said at the last Tuesday Conference Meeting: Welcome to the Family <3 Love Yall!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Jolene,
      You are one of the bomb.coms in the group of ReClaimers.  Finding our authentic selves is such an awesome discovery.  It sounds like you have found peace in so many ways — that is good, because I have, too.  LY a Dillion, Dr. K

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KAMMWX2PCRCDEAEK4SIIVRVADE Tequila

    Hello Dr. Kaye,

    I just wanted to let you know how my life is progressing since ReClaim.

    Background:  My mother was fifteen and my father was seventeen when I was born. My father was killed when I was two years old and his grandmother stepped in and began to
    help raise me, because she basically raised my father.  Therefore my great grandmother (My
    Mudear) and I were extremely close all of my life.
    This is my Paternal side of the family:

    My perpetrator was my Mudear’s brother. Once I became an adult and my great grandfather passed away I financially started helping my
    Mudear. It did not take me long to realize that she was taking the money I was giving her and helping her brother, my perpetrator his name is Curtis. He is an elderly man with no education (he can not read, but he can sign his name), no children or wife.  My Mudear took care of everybody
    so he just fell right in depending on her to help him. 

    I never told my Mudear about my sexual abuse.

    So eventually instead of helping my Mudear with her bills I now was taking my money and paying Curtis’s bills, so that he was not a burden
    on my Mudear. Every time I’d pay his bills I’d get so mad and furious about having to help him, but did it anyway. Even when I became unemployed I was still trying to figure out ways to help get his bills paid. From what my Mudear told me he never really held a job all of his life so his $712.00 Social
    Security is never enough to keep his bills paid.

    Recently: My Mudear passed away this past May and now Curtis
    became my sole responsibility. I really began to fume on the inside, all the while doing nothing about the situation. 
    In June I went to Curtis’s house and I told him, “ I want you to know that I remember what you did to me when I was little.” I was nervous and almost
    didn’t want to say it, but I kept telling myself I have got tell him that I have not forgotten what he did to me. You know that S.O.B. looked at me and said, “Oh okay.”

    I did not know how to respond, I was shocked and just in awe that that was all he had to say. I guess I thought he would apologize or at
    least ask, “what are you talking about?” But he knew just what I was talking about. I then became a little frightened, but very very mad! I had never really been mad about what happened to me until that moment. I told him, “I only help
    you because of my Mudear.” When I walked out of that house I knew my sexual
    abuse wasn’t as dealt with as I thought it was and that confrontation along
    with your Co-dependant teaching helped me realize that I needed to be ReClaimed.

    Currently:  I no longer am Curtis’s caregiver of any kind. I set his bills up on auto pay, took
    my name off of his checking account and told him that I was no longer helping
    him at all.  If he didn’t have
    enough that was not my problem. I told my grandmother (my Mudear’s daughter)
    why I was no longer helping him and she was so furious with him and told me she
    would not have helped him that much. 
    Of course, she said I should have told her what happened way back then.
    But she was on my side and I was glad! 

    NOW:  I am so
    free!!!! I finally have a peace of mind!

    Thank you so much, you are my crush………..

    P.S. On another note I have been in college for what seems
    like forever.  I declared my major
    a few weeks ago and I am so happy to say that it is in Social Services. Because
    I am now realizing my authentic-self, I can make sound peaceful, responsible
    decisions without being confused about it. I have never known what I wanted to
    be in life. I knew God had a great plan for me, but I just could not figure out
    the direction I should have been going, I wish I would have learned all this
    twenty years ago, but I am so GRATEFUL that I am learning it now!!!! You are
    the bomb.com

    Thanking God for you,
    Tequila  

    • A Note from Dr. K

      What you have said in its entirety is so complex, but it represents the world of the victim, the perp, and the family.  Freedom is paid with a price, not money, but with choice.  Thank you for becoming a ReClaiming.  Don’t stop here.  Continue to press into your authentic self.  You are an awesome woman.  Bless you…Dr. K

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/KAMMWX2PCRCDEAEK4SIIVRVADE Tequila

        My entire life has been so complex. But since the ReClaim conference my life is going in a whole new direction. Thank You!

  • Anonymous

    Honor the
    process. Whew sitting in the conference tuesday my inner Lexi reminded me of a
    time I was forced to have sex with a guy even after I told him to get off of
    me. He held my legs back and continued to have sex with me even when I told him
    it hurt and please stop he kept shushing me and tell to hold on he was almost
    done. I remember crying and pushing and he just kept going. Tell me I was so
    good…etc..etc.. I remember crying and after he didnt stop I just laid there
    after he was done he kiss me. I kept telling myself it was ok I was okay.. my
    inner Lexi was screaming at me. It’s hard to write this. and she kept showing
    me times where in sex I would not want to have it.. but I would just lay there
    and take it because I craved affection so desperately for males and females
    that I would accept any kind of treatment. I’m trying to be all in phase 4 and
    I keep seeing where I still have actions that linger in phase3. I just have to
    keep honoring the process. whelp that its. Over all the conference was awesome!
    The bonding and the openness was great. Dr/Momma Kay ROCKs!

    • Anonymous

      When I went back to save my inner child I ended up picking up 7year old me from sleeping in my parents doorway to 20 year old me and keep saying over and over again..you will be safe.,..you will grow up to be ok…you are working on becoming whole….you are beautiful…you are loved….that was a great feeling.

      • A Note from Dr. K

        Phase 4 is just around the corner for you.  I can feel it.  As I mentioned in the conference, it’s not us who really craves the attention —  it’s the mini-me inside us that craves it.  We have to separate from her at times, otherwise we put ourselves in a place to get hurt again — only it’s not us getting hurt — it’s her, a child that does not know how to process intelligent information.  Just give yourself time to grow up now into Phase 4…it’s a process.  

        • Lin

          Hi Dr Kaye – your words here – spoke to me just now today…thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Freed_uh,

    We really are getting better and better, day by day. Another thing, the beat down is so liberating. I am glad someone gave me a stick to revisit this tactic. I almost let the opportunity slip away. It made we realize that you may not recognize how deep this thing goes until you allow yourself to release it. Now I am thinking that I will do so at random times, and definitely will not decline an invite to participate.

    Don’t underestimate the power of good beat down.

    GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

    Ahhhhhhhhhhh

  • A Note from Dr. K

    I was thrilled to see you last night.  I wanted to call on you, too.  But, time ran out.  You are a survivor — and the weapons that have formed against you — are all a lie.  You will survive.  You will be strong.  You will be healthy.  I know.  I know truth.  LY BFF

  • A Note from Dr. K

    You did awesome tonight.  I just think you are soooo great, too.  I hope you will stay involved.  I need you.  I really do.  Yes, you have a VOICE –now use it.  Don’t let another day go by without reclaiming another part of your life.  LY Dr. K

  • A Note from Dr. K

    I want you to make a deliberate effort to stay in touch.  Hang with us please.  You deserve to be whole, to be healed, to have a full, rich, incredible life.  I’m so sorry about all of your life, especially the loss of your brother.  But, Lin — you CAN make your life count now.  Do something with us so that other children do NOT have to suffer like this.  What you went through was so wrong.  The ONLY way to reconcile this kind of wrong is to help millions of others so they don’t go through what we went through.  LY so much, Dr. K

    • Lin

       Yes; Dr Kaye I will absolutely do that…

      You have to know, I’m thinking…gee, where else can I go…who else could possibly understand me…there’s no one and nothing out there that can help me…only you…only ReClaim…only the sisterhood…

      I took a break from two very highly prioritized passions: my work with orphans and my work in my art studio, during the ReClaim conference and now because of ReClaim I feel way more creative and I plan to resume the various events I and a friend of mine facilitate at the Children’s Home Society here in Jacksonville. 

      I see why God pulled me back for a season.  I’d been an outreach/activities planner out there on a volunteer basis for 3 years.  Now I know why God pulled me back…to bring healing to me…to deal with me…my heart…my soul…oh my God…when you said our souls had “pock marks” I perked up because for years and years I’d been telling people (like it was a hysterical joke) that if they could see my soul it would look like swiss cheese…ha ha ha ha…and it’s not one bit funny. 

      I so love you, Dr. Kaye…I might still be a bit timid – because you represent “MOM” to so many of the ladies and I’m still scared of that…but I’m not letting it stop me…not park’n there…no more silence.

  • MzTude

    Good evening Reclaim sisters!!! Let me begin by
    saying the one forum I can be me, the real me is here but yet I have not posted
    under my real name. My name is Anita; oddly enough I went to change my name but
    it was taken, it’s ok …. now we all know who I am :) … Reclaim has had a
    greater impact on me more than expected. When I went in I didn’t know what to
    expect and found every excuse not to come as I had in the past. That night I
    tried to leave but Faith wouldn’t let me then Nicole joined forces with Faith
    and I stayed. I am a rock solid person made of mush but not many are aware of
    that because you can’t get close enough to me to find out. The 1st night, I
    held it together stayed ‘strong’ didn’t cry even if a tear accidentally fell I
    immediately wiped it away. I have to be strong; I always have to be the strong
    one __ needs you keep it together. 2nd Tuesday time ran out before I could do
    my telling … awesome I’m off the hook … NOT as I was trying to hurry &
    leave Colleen & Candise stopped me and asked if I was coming back the next
    week I told them it all depends on how I slept that night. I left my car
    wouldn’t start and had to be towed the next day I felt defeated over $700 later
    low and behold that … 3rd Tuesday the moment of truth my turn to tell. I’d
    told before but never in such detail but I still wasn’t released. 4th Tuesday
    the tearing when the wailing women began I didn’t know what my reaction was but
    I wanted to run and couldn’t because there were 2 people posted at the back
    door. I was trapped like I had been for so many years. This time I was trapped
    inside a place I’d considered a safe place, it was the sanctuary of my church,
    but it really wasn’t. I looked at the beating stick n said this isn’t my seen
    and again looked at the door stared back at the beating stick then realized I
    was not in the sanctuary I was in my living room where my uncle molested me, I
    was in the bedroom where my sperm donor molested me and I beat the hell out of
    both of them. I saw the faces of my little sister and beat harder. I beat every
    inch of pain out of my soul then I cried for every moment of my life they have
    stolen from me I cried until my freedom. I got home around 1:30ish didn’t go to
    sleep until after 3 and had to get up at 5. I felt like I had been in a fight
    and know what? I was … I was in a fight to save my life and to save the life
    and relationship between me and my children. When I got up the next morning, my
    head hurt, my arms hurt, my legs hurt, my chest hurt, my eyes hurt and I had a
    cut on my hand that I have no idea where it came from but that’s ok that’s when
    you know it was a good fight and you won. Candise, Colleen & Eva asked how
    I felt and I said it’s over … it all ended that night. I was speaking with my
    mentor after I left and I told her for the first time in my life .. I cried for
    ME … I have NEVER cried for me, every tear I’ve ever shed in my life has been
    for/because someone else this time it was all about me, Anita no one else and
    that is amazing. Finally we come to 5th Tuesday I’d cried my last cry and felt
    my last pain. I had never been in a room filled with such love, compassion,
    sadness, happiness, beautiful and resilient women. I thank each and everyone of you for this experience.
    Reclaim was not just about my sexual abuse it was about me reclaiming my life
    on every level. I can now finally deal with the loss of my husband, I had the
    courage to tell the mother of my baby sisters what that satanic man did to me
    so she could protect them. I know this is not a religious forum but today I
    asked God to help me to find the authentic me; what do I like? What makes me
    laugh? What can I not live without? Dr. Momma Kaye I thank you and everone
    beautiful soul in reclaim for being there and sharing in my healing. Love you
    all.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      We certainly you, too.  Thank you for pressing in and becoming faithful to honoring the process of ReClaim.  I know it is hard — like labor pains, but afterwards comes a new mini-me, a new you.  The ReClaim sisters are awesome — and now you are one, too.

      • MzTude

        Dr. Momma Kaye you are an amazing woman. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Last Tuesday was phenomenal! The teachings are like connecting the dots. The wailing women took my breath away. So powerful! It was so good to see all of you again. Every kindness is appreciated. I have learned so much from my sisters and thank you for your encouraging words.

    Thanks to all of you who were surrogates for the beat down. Do you know what an impact that made? It is such a labor of love and I am deeply moved every time. Thank you for giving voice to the voiceless.

    I keep remembering Catherine aka Shorty. My heart goes out to her. The horrors she endured make me want to scream! I grieve for her loss. When she said she really wants to dance, but can’t allow herself to, that touched a chord in me. I am glad, at least, for the hokey pokey. That’s a start.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I wish you had been here last night Diane.  It was so awesome.  I want to get you a copy of the DVD after it gets edited.  You will love it.  Thank you for all of your kind words.  

      • Anonymous

        Dr. K,

        I just know it was awesome. Guess I will have to wait for the DVD. Being at the conference has reminded me just what an important influence ReClaim has made and what a powerful force it is.

        LY

        Diane

        P.S. and it did feel like home.

  • Anonymous

    Jolene, I’m so glad that you could have fun with your hubby and the “ejaculate.” I revel in your liberty. When Dr. Kaye did that I was reminded of how far I have to go, because I still feel revulsion to it. If it weren’t for ReClaim, I would think that was fine. Now, even though single, I don’t want to be bound in any area. I want to be healthy. I cannot help but think this is part of why I will not say that I want to remarry. That is a thought that can’t seem to hold in my imagination.

    Thank God for Dr. Kaye who insists on nothing less than full recovery. Enjoy the banquet!

  • Anonymous

    Welcome to the sisterhood! I am Sooo glad you came. This is a wonderful thing you have done for yourself–letting mini-me be heard. You are not alone. We will help you. It does get better and there is hope. LY, my friend.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    Chandra.  I was so excited to meet you.  I was concerned about you coming, and for all nights to come the night of the tearing.  If you can survive that and not think we’re all crazy then you okay in my books.
    Seriously, watch out for the announcement of the Facilitator training for satellite groups.  I would love it if you would come.  Dr. K

    • Anonymous

      Dr. Kaye, the tearing actually helped me to get some much needed bitter feelings out.  It felt so good to be around people that didn’t judge me or put me down because of what i was feeling.  I cried for the young lady that held in her pain, i cried hearing what has happened to others, and most of all i cried for my little mini me, because she wants to be free.  I started a support group last year called “The love of Tamar” and i believe it didn’t get anywhere because God wanted me to be free before i could help anyone else.  So i thank you Dr. Kaye for what you are doing for me and all the others.  I could bring you at least 2 bus load of hurting women, (but i wouldn’t) because i hear about it so much.  i cry for them, and i use to not cry for myself, but now i speak out and cry for the authentic me..  and my best friend Diane..she allowed me to talk to her on the way there and back home, we cried, we laughed but i was able to get somethings out.  RECLAIM FOREVER!!! I will definetly be watching for the announcement of the Facilitator training for satellite groups.

  • Anonymous

    Looking forward to the conference this Tuesday!!! I already see the TRANSFORMATION happening in my sisters!!! It is soooo beautiful.  On Sunday, I told another ReClaimer I had seen on Tuesday, ” Wow, you look so pretty, there is a brightness, a light, about you!” She said, “You are the THIRD person to tell me that today!!! I feel better since the last ReClaim conference.  Even at work, people cannot believe it.  I am so JOYFUL now!!! It was like toxins have been in me that were seeping out but I didn’t even know THEY were poisoning me.  I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. I do feel JOYFUL. I feel so light, I checked to see if I lost weight….I had!!! 4 pounds!! LOLOL What’s really funny, for some reason, I feel like helping people that don’t even ask for help!! I feel HOPEFUL. For Five decades I have been running but now in less than five weeks, I feel free.  I can stop running.  I am getting so much.  The difference is noticble.  I feel soo good about my self now!!!  I hugged her and said that is what I live for.  The transformation.  The joy.  The Freedom from all of the gunk, poison, toxins.  Beauty for Ashes.  Authenticity. You name it, she’s another ReClaimer who found it.  Honor the process.  Be transparent. Be Authenitc…Be the real you. I promise it has made every area of my life and the way I look at life transformed and free. PTL! 

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I see light in the faces of so many ReClaimers.  They don’t have it all yet, but as time goes by they will get more and more.  The seeds of deliverance and healing have been given — a few more to come tomorrow night.  Dr.

    • Anonymous

      You are so right! The transformation has begun. The change I saw in so many of my sisters is remarkable. Yes, there seemed to be light shining from them. Watching them brought up so many good feelings. I am so proud of you ALL for taking your lives back.

  • Dawn Archer

    I can’t believe the last conference night is fast approaching. What a conference it has been. The information that Dr. Kaye shared has touched my life in so many facets. I am soo happy to say I continue to gain more and more freedom from my sexual abuse. The one thing I finally have freedom from is the loyalty and eternal hope of relationships that are no good for me. I can finally see the causation from when I was a little girl, just wanting to be loved and in normal relationships, this hope and inability to see things for what they are followed me all through my life, even into a distructive marriage relationship. Though I have to take accountability for my decisions (also in learned in Reclaim); I realize that I do not have to compromise, I am not perfect and I still work on many character flaws but I deserve to be loved not abused!!!!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Sister– I can’t believe it’s coming to an end either!!!  No one is perfect, not even me — I know you’re surprised to here that …LOL.  Anyway, we shall press in and prevail together.  Yay — we win.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    Dear Sisterhood of the Traveling Victory Report…
    This Tuesday is it.  I can’t wait for it to get here, but then it will be bittersweet for me when it ends.  I will miss you all after this conference series is over.  This is my LAST ever conference like this — can you imagine that?  I know there was a reason for each and everyone to come this time.  God will unfold that reason as time goes by.Hey, have you signed up for the banquet — it is filling up fast!!!  Please write Shannon TODAY.  I WANT YOU ALL THERE.  We will have so much fun.  This Tuesday will be power-packed and another big journey for you all.  Brace yourself.  Come to honor the process of ReClaim — like never ever before.   I love you all…Dr. K

  • A Note from Dr. K

     Good afternoon Dr./Momma Kaye. The statement below has to do with how Reclaim is affecting my future and eventually the future of those around me…especially my immediate family.

    Last night it was heavy on my heart to
    apologize to my husband and kids for the way I have treated them in the
    past. I used to be sooooo controlling that if they didn’t do what I
    asked them to do, I’d get angry with them and yell. I then shared with
    them what is heavy on my heart to be for them and that is to be a better wife and Mom. I
    looked at each one of them and told them how precious they are to me and
    how thankful I am to be a part of their life. 
     
    I shared this vision and a few things that are in phase 3 that I
    realized I was still carrying around with me and how God is helping me to
    overcome them through Reclaim. All my life I have had to compromise what
    I would like out of life and pretend like everything was good in my
    life when it really wasn’t. I learned to do that because of being sexually abused as a
    child. It became a coping skill as you well know. So compromise,
    pretending, constantly being in control, and afraid of rejection is in
    this pot of water and the good things in phase 4 that God wants to bring
    me to is at the bottom of the pot weighed down by the bad things I carry
    around in my life. God is getting rid of the dross at the top of the
    pot so that the person He has destined me to be here on earth can rise
    to the top and manifest in my life. That is why He told me to join
    Reclaim. He wants to get out the bad so that the good that He has placed
    in me when I was created can rise up in me. I know that this is not for
    my benefit only but to help others and love others in a functional way.

    My
    heart is to be able to problem solve and deal with things in a calm, rational
    manner with my family. Like you did with Elder Stu and the bushes. I asked my family to
    forgive me  for my past mistakes and for being angry. I told them that
    Reclaim has shown me the source of that anger and what I can become by
    not being that way anymore. I asked them to please be patient that my
    heart is to be the wife, mother, and friend that they need me
    to be in their life. It may not happen over night, but I’m going to choose to  live
    it day by day, month by month, then year by year. 

    I thank God for you and Reclaim. 
    LY, Gina

    • A Note from Dr. K

      This is such amazing progress, something that every woman should have.  It does take a new step everyday — and each day we ReClaim more of us.  I just can’t tell you how much your blogs touch my heart.  We are all just so worth it.  We must not stop until we find our authentic self.  We deserve to heal.  LY Gina, Dr. K

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XFVQZHJYQZKRRIKEKSQQHV4Q3A candise

    All I can say is that I am SOOOO grateful for Reclaim!!! I am so grateful for the information that has been given, the understanding that I have obtained, the friends I have made, and the love I have given and received. The information that is taught is priceless to me. I have found that what we learn(how to give voice to your inner child) in Reclaim can be applied to other areas of woundedness that may not be related to sexual abuse. I now have a one hour weekly counseling session with each of my children on Sundays and just give them a chance to talk about anything.
    This week was a little challenging for me. I had a hard time concentrating at work after the tearing and I have been very moody, but I find comfort in knowing that it’s part of the process. I’m trying to make every effort to discover my authentic self and to just be honest with myself.
    Dr. Kaye, on behalf of my children, my mother, my family, and especially myself…………….. THANK YOU!!!

    I love you very much and I thank God for you.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Candise,
      My dear Candise — what can I say -but thank you so much for helping me with ReClaim.  You are such a joy to be around.  I think what you’re doing to help your children is incredible.  Every mother should do that.  Keep pressing in, keep believing for wholeness — it is there for us to take, and we begin ReClaiming our lives by faith FIRST.  LY 

  • Erin Pruett

     

    Since the beginning of ReClaim, I have taken time to process
    all that I have learned and taken time to do some self-assessment. I could
    write pages about what I have learned that has given me greater clarity and
    also brought up questions, but I will just share one of my take-away thoughts.

    I grew up in a male-dominant society and did not have an
    opportunity to have very many friends that were girls. I had a few for short
    time periods, but my brother was my best friend. I was completely a tom-boy,
    and was ok with this. I have always known that I had a much harder time
    relating to women than men, but I did not realize that deep down I did at times
    need a mother and some females around to encourage me to be emotional, because
    I am not very emotional. I am not saying that I need to be an emotional wreck,
    but I can see how seventeen years of not really seeing much emotion shown
    taught me to not show emotion. Everyone may not understand this, but if I
    showed emotion (and I mean the emotions of hurt, anger, fear, etc. ), I would
    often be putting myself in a lot of danger. Now, when I am in safe places, I
    need to let the guard down, take off the under-cover me, and let myself
    experience the emotion I feel. 

    Even though I still do not understand all of this, thank you
    to Dr. Kaye for helping me gain a greater understanding. Also, it was great to be at
    a table early on in ReClaim where one of the women has lived overseas. For the
    first time IN MY LIFE, I felt like someone got me. I remember leaving after
    telling my story thinking about how great it felt to have someone listening
    that understood not only the sexual abuse, but understand cultural aspects of
    my life that I cannot explain to others. When telling my story, instead of
    feeling like I had to paint the picture, I just felt like she got it, which was
    a feeling greater than I can explain, because it showed me that all my life, I
    have just wanted to be truly understood.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are incredible.  You have a world to conquer…let me help you.  You are understood.  Learn to trust people who care about you.  You don’t have to understand it all — just let it unfold piece by piece.  We shall work together…LY Dr. K

  • Jolene

    I am just stopping by to give a SHOUT OUT to my SISTA’s of Reclaim!!!! HOLLA!!!!!!!
    I wanted to share my dinner date with my husband last night.. I guess 2 days later is when my MIXED up brain decides to finish processing because here was the Convo with him:
    Waiter: What can I get you to drink? ME: I will have a water and a Coke.
    Drink comes and I drink the Coke and put my straw in the water.. Then guess what comes out next.. LOL LOL LOL
    Me: Dr Kaye was drinking this and calling it Ejaculate the other night…
    My Husband’s eyes got huge then I splash him with my ejaculate.. LOL LOL LOL LOL Poor Jason!!!
    Our whole dinner conversation was about Reclaim and just how excited I am with the future plans.. Then I formally asked him to be my date to the Banquet.. (He’s not sure if he will attend) but WHATEVER!!!
    Well ladies I am so glad that we are in each others lives, and hope to see you all soon!!! Dr. Kaye.. What I have to say to you is ….. : Hey!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Your shout out is well received.  I so hope he will come to the banquet.  It will be so much fun.  LY Jolene…thanks for all that you do to bring joy to so many people’s lives.  Dr. K

    • Anonymous

       Jolene, I’m so glad that you could have fun with your hubby and the “ejaculate.” I revel in your liberty. When Dr. Kaye did that I was reminded of how far I have to go, because I still feel revulsion to it. If it weren’t for ReClaim, I would think that was fine. Now, even though single, I don’t want to be bound in any area. I want to be healthy. I cannot help but think this is part of why I will not say that I want to remarry. That is a thought that can’t seem to hold in my imagination. Thank God for Dr. Kaye who insists on nothing less than full recovery. Enjoy the banquet!

  • Anonymous

    Where Do I begin! Tuesday Night was amazing. I found myself wailing…raging..weeping..hugging..crying..laughing. It was a release and to watch others become free was a.humbling experience. Its the sisterhood that helps. When you reclaim your voice and look around and see other women doing.the same its a wonderful experience. Everytime I come to reclaim I learn something new and life.chamging.if.I just remember to honor the process.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Tuesday night was incredible for me too.  I couldn’t believe what I saw, heard and felt — then I couldn’t see anymore because of my own tears.  The sisterhood is strong — don’t every leave us.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    You know I say it over and over again — weep for yourself and weep for others.  You are leveling your playing field, and when you do that you are seeing your world correctly.  It is sad, but 20/20 vision always allows us to see things so clearly — and with that there is no more blindness to the pain that is on the inside of us.  We only need to face it.   It will take time to heal.  I’ve seen it take time for so many ReClaimers.  But once true comprehension is realized, next comes the full reality of what happened to you — and you will not what to be part of them anymore. You are well on your way to that point.  When you fully arrive –you will be so glad you escaped.  This I know.  This is what so many ReClaimers will tell you.  It is hard to leave the ones who destroyed our childhood, our loyalty always gets in our way — but there is no other way out of pain except to LEAVE, and shut the door behind us. We are your sisters.  We need you.  Please stay involved with ReClaim.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    YOUR BP will be fine.  I’m not surprised, though.  There’s such a change in is after the tearing is done.  It is intense exercise.  It connects the voice, hand and brain together so well – I sometime think we can lift a car.    I Love your poem….love it, love it, love it.  so precious.  Thank you for sharing.
    Dr. K

  • Anonymous

    Guess what? I almost lost my voice screaming for my mini- me, as well as other’s mini me. I screamed out against the injustice… the lost of innonce… the pain and the horror. I creid and weeped for my little mini- me, as well as for others. I love seeing others blossom and come into their autentic selves. I love Reclaim because its so similar to my teaching carrer. I see woman come in heavy with burden, feeling down trodden and as if they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are also little girls in adult bodies. However, through time, I see their min- me grow, learn, blossom, become lighter, freeer, and soar through the air. I love seeing people leran and grow and become healed from their childhood sexual abuse. I can’t wait until Reclaim goes world wide and millions reclaim their lives! p.s. my throat still hurts! :( (

    • A Note from Dr. K

      My dear friend Sara — this is what we do as ReClaimers — we weep for myself and weep for others.  Let’s do it!  Let’s heal millions and tens of millions.  There are so many hurting like us.  LY Dr. K

    • Anonymous

      p.s it was worth it to hurt my throat because Im trying to be a voice for the voiceless

      • Anonymous

        Sara, I am watching you blossom into a confident, victorious woman. ReClaim looks good on you, my sister. LY Diane

    • Anonymous

      That is also what I love about ReClaim.  While I cry for others and myself, I get better and better.  It is a mystery to me.

      • A Note from Dr. K

        Ahh…Diane you haven’t forgotten — we must weep for ourselves as we weep for others.  Please come home…someday.  Until then LY forever…Dr. K

        • Anonymous

          Dr. K it is an honor to have you for my friend. Love you much. Hugs and kisses.

          Diane

  • Anonymous

    lol, I will try to keep up DK. love you lots

  • Anonymous

    Stacy you are awsome and an important member of Reclaim. You deserved a better life and father. Im gald you screamed it out though so you can heal. I screamed and cried for my mini me as well and I also weeped fro others,

  • Anonymous

    Wow, I can’t believe there is one more conference and that is it. Where does the time go anyway? I really related to the three phase that DK described. I was emotional, unheard, unloved, hopeless, etc. I also related to demanding to be loved in a certain way. That was sooooo me! I also demanded that my ex tell me and show me all the time that he loved me. That must have been exhausting for him. Noticed I said ex as well. Sexual abuse ruined my marriage, I feel. I related to DK’s argument with her husband, she had told her husband to leave, but secretly she didn’t want him to leave. I don’t know how many times I did this as well with my ex. I also constantly distrusted that he really loved me, that he thought I was beautiful, and that he would be faithful to me. In fact, I kept accusing him of cheating. Most likely, I drove him to cheat, because he did; several times. Of course, he could have had will power to not cheat, but I now see my side to the failed marriage. As everyone always says its takes two to divorce and to make a marriage work. I only wish that I had Reclaim before my divorce; maybe things would have been different.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    I’m so grateful for you.  Thank you for seeing ReClaim through my eyes.  Dr. K

  • Yolanda

    Today I inform my mom I was going to Reclaim. She had a interesting look. I was shock when she said my father molested my sister when she was young and we are 2yrs apart. That was why my sister did not want to visit us. My mother said she always wondering if had done the same to me. That blew my mind that she knew his action. I am pissed at her.

    • breimjustme

      I am so sorry this happened to you and I’m even more sorry to hear that your mother had a clue of what this man was capable of and did nothing. You should have been protected, PERIOD. To hear this from your mom, confirms what Dr. Kaye says about perps getting to others and that it doesn’t just stop with one.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Geez…you’re reclaiming everything in your life.  I can’t believe what you heard about your sister.  My dear God — does that not prove that once a molester always a molester.  One of the biggest issues I see is the deception that lives in families — the ReClaimer thinks she is the ONLY one who got it from the perp.  But, over and over again that proves to be not true.  How sad is that!!!!!!!  What’s sadder is that some just refuse to believe this truth.  This is why I say on my website, too —  if you know a child is being molested and you do nothing about it — may the blood of that child be on your hands.  Dear God help us all.  I’m so sorry Yolanda.  All I can say is you will get better.  You will figure all of this out — when you find your authentic self.  Aaaaahhhhhggggg.  That is me screaming.  I LY — do you hear me?  I LY!!!!  Stay strong.  You are soooo worth it.  I will pray for your sister to be healed too!

  • Yolanda

    When I first posted, I was excited. I was trying to use an anonymous name. Short story…i noticed my name is showing and people will know. Worry was creeping in. Then a voice said to me it’s not my secret & I shouldn’t be ashamed & this will help you heal.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You’re blankety blank right — THIS IS NOT YOUR SHAME!!!

  • breimjustme

    Man, I am in more pain than I thought I’d been in today. The more time passes, the worst my pain gets, but it’s a pain I am willing to keep as a reminder of the “can” I opened up last night. It felt so good to let that out. Because of my abuse I stopped smiling, I don’t like taking pictures, and worst of all, I don’t even like to see my own face. Today when I got up, I turned on some music, I sang and danced while getting dressed, and even did my make up…to go nowhere. When I finished I took some pictures of myself and tried to find my natural smile, I did this until I was comfortable with seeing myself. Guess what? I’m okay with me and eventually, I’ll feel better about myself. As for now, okay is a huge step for me.

    • Lin

      I am soooooooo glad you said this…it’s just like Dr. Kaye said…you never know how what YOU say will encourage someone else…and this encourages me…I too, can’t seem to get comfortable with my FACE…among other things…and I know why now…thanks to ReClaim!!!  I too, have taken pictures and I’ve had to learn to look myself in the eye – looking at “me” in the mirror…I’ve got a long way to go…but I’M GOING…thank you for posting your experience…It’s helpful to me…

      • A Note from Dr. K

        You are so beautiful Lin — ohmygoose…just keep growing.  Champion YOURSELF on!!!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You deserve to dance and smile for tons of pictures!!!

  • breimjustme

    Believing God for your health and healing.

  • KB

    It was so awesome getting to be next to you last night and see you obliterate that first paper roll.  I remember last week how we watched you struggle to connect and say what you needed to say to that perpetrator, but it didn’t look like you had any trouble holding back last night.  So thankful I got to see that transformation–awesome.

  • Anonymous

    There are no words to explain the release I feel at this very moment. Last nights tearing session allowed me to get out 30 years worth of built up, buried extremely deep anger. Listening and watching the ladies wail and scream was so painful and at times unbearable, but I’m glad we went through it. This process has renewed so many different areas of my life., Wife, Mother,daugther and most important woman. Dr.Kaye you are simply a GIFT sent to us by God. Thank you for listening to your calling… your obedience is mending the broken.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      If I truly can help mend the broken — I have served my God well.  I have given out what He has given me.   Watching the ladies wail is an incredible experience.  So much pain in one room.  So many years of so much pain.  I was weeping …. I was weeping for the ladies and for the children who are going through what we went through as children.  That’s just not fair.  That’s just so wrong.  God help us stop them.

  • Anonymous

    I am over joyed as i read the comments and stories. You
    all are some awesome awesome women. I am honored to be in this with you each
    and every one of you. I am so HAPPY that you all are getting exactly what you
    need in ReClaim. Each and every one of you will continue on to locate your
    authentic self and you will grow more and more in love with yourself. You will
    also see your Mini-Me become a teen and then an adult like mine has. ReClaim is
    monumental; Dr. Kaye is a special gift, an angel and is one of the BEST and
    Greatest women in my life. I admire her, love her and trust her with every
    fiber of my being. The mother of America has done it again. You ladies just
    wait there is so much more that you will discover because of ReClaim. You are dynamic
    and I love you all my sisters!!!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are my reward.  You are dynamic.  You are incredible.  Just wait and see…

  • Anonymous

    This ReClaim conference has been like no other one i have EVER been to.  It has been life altering
    for me. Thus far, the last two weeks have completely revolutionized my mind.  From last week (Reclaiming your authentic self) was spectacular. It’s difficult to describe in words what happened to me that night. I was able to make connectors connect. I was able to
    see myself and the truth behind all the lies people had told me, I was able to forgive
    myself for past behaviors and most importantly I was able to accept the reality
    that my parent had done me an injustice. That was rough, but I HAVE accepted
    every part of me. I LOVE me and I LOVE who i am. RECLAIM has done that for me.
    I went all in again for the 2nd time and am NOT disappointed. I am IN LOVE with
    my authentic self and that’s a wonderful feeling.

    Also, this week (The Tearing) OMG!!!!!! I beat the HECK out
    of that chair. Oh, and YES my arm is sore today. LOL I literally felt so liberated,
    I made my perps pay, and I beat my MOM how she beat me. (Hope that doesn’t
    offend anyone) However, all the rage and anger that I still had i let go
    of.  All the past hurts from her and the
    abuse from her mentally and emotionally I released that night.  I am so grateful for RECLAIM. Ladies, stick
    with Dr. Kaye and you’ll go far.

    • breimjustme

      Oh, I did the beat-down because of my mom too! I thought I was the only one, she deserved it and I don’t feel bad saying it. I love my mom and we have a great relationship now, but she FAILED ME, big time.

  • kate

      I didn’t know what to expect maybe some orange paint I was really concerned what was going to happen last night  when I found  out what the excercise was going to be, I started feeling so much RAGE coming on and at one point i couldn’t control myself, tears started to stream down my face.     I just wanted to kill and destroy them like they did to me.  I started shaking and it just took hold and it felt good to finally be able to show my anger.  This class has been incredible Dr. Kaye thank you for having one last conference.  I can’t believe the little things that keeping coming to the surface , I’m beginning to see the whole picture, well part of it anyway , a huge chunk!   THANK YOU , THANK YOU!

     
     

    • A Note from Dr. K

      GOOOOD for you.  Releasing thoughts like you have done is sooooo good.  We deserve to be free — chunks at a time.  You are so welcome.

  • Anonymous

    All I can say is “wow”… What a difference 4 weeks can make! If I could go back a month ago and ask myself what it would be like to finally be free, I wouldn’t have been able to answer. I feel like there is a cloudiness that has been lifted from my life and I am able to finally see clearly. I see how ugly sexual abuse is, how how it holds people in such a dark bondage. But I also see how God is able to bring healing and restoration to my life and my family member’s lives just by speaking truth to this horrible situation.

    Dr. Kay, you are an angel sent by God to save me along with all these other women. I am so thankful for you and I am so thankful for Craigslist :)

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You listen to me young lady — there is a reason you were brought into ReClaim at this time.  God sent out a huge net to catch you.  As time goes by — we will all know why.  Our experience together is incredible.  I shall never, ever forget you.  I shall see God bring us back together someday, somehow.  You know what’s funny — I’ve yet to give the Craigslist airplanes to my grandson.  For some reason — I just can’t let them go now.  I do know, btw, that Courtney, her hubby and your mom are coming to the banquet.  I am so happy about that.  (I think Shannon mentioned it was your friends, or something, but I know it’s family.)  Tell them all –WE WILL HAVE fun–every one of us.  Love you Kylee, Dr. K

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KAMMWX2PCRCDEAEK4SIIVRVADE Tequila

    I was in a therapy session a few years ago and my therapist asked me, “What does it feel like when you are happy?” After a few moments of searching my mind I realized I could not answer the question. I did not know what it felt like when I was happy. I was saddened because I had no memories of real happiness. I experienced happy moments, but not true happiness. 
    I am proud to say that during this ReClaim conference I have experienced happiness. It’s three years later and I can now answer the question. “What does it feel like to be happy?” It feels GOOD, it feels FREE, it feels NATURAL!!!  

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Yippppeee….happy go luck forever!
      LY Dr. K

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KAMMWX2PCRCDEAEK4SIIVRVADE Tequila

    ReClaim has changed not just my life, but it is changing the life of so many people around me. Because I am not ashamed to be the voice that speaks out against sexual crimes, several of my family members are now speaking out about things that happened to them and their children. We are ReClaiming our lives and our families!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Be a voice with me Tequila..help me reclaim every woman.  When we do that — we will reach millions of children.

  • Kisha

    Last night was phenomenal. I was able to let my mini me be heard, and boy did it ever feel so good afterwards. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. Today I feel like a new me is emerging, and I’m almost like whoa, who is this person. I feel confident, happy, excited about life, and I am just getting better acquainted with this woman that I have become. To my sisters and Dr. K, I can’t thank you enough for helping me to get through this process. I know that’s it’s not over yet, but I’m so excited about my progress.There is light at the end of the tunnel. It still saddens my heart that so many children will go through with the pain and hurt that we have endured, and it is up to us to make a change and be heard. Love you lots Dr. K

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Kisha — you are becoming the woman you were always met to be — even when you were a Mini-Me — you were inside her.  It is amazing.  It is wonderful.  I love me, you and the sisterhood!!!

      Dr. K

    • Anonymous

      you did awsome and Im proud of you. thanks for putting your whole self in

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are arriving on your own scene.  Isn’t it an amazing feeling.  To be present?  I Love what you’ve said.  I thank YOU for honoring the process of ReClaim.  More to come.  LY Dr. K

  • Domingo

    I had so much anxiety and I was afraid when we began the tearing exercise.  I wanted to bolt for the door after the wailing women shared their performance.  But despite these feelings I committed to the process and I am so grateful that I did.  I have spent my whole life “just getting over it” but I have been hurting for a long time.  When I hit the back of my chair and yelled it was the first time that I allowed myself to really let go of all of the rage and hatred that was hurting me.  As I listened to the other woman scream I felt validated, like I’m not crazy for what I am feeling this is a healthy normal reaction to the awful things that happen to me.
    I believe deep down inside of me that I possess the ability to face the truth about my abuse and now I have the tools to heal.
    But, how do I exercise practical daily compassion towards my mini-me……I know this is necessary for my healing and growth?
     

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Shhhh…don’t tell anyone this — but next week you will meet Mini-me face to face.  Yes, ReClaim is necessary for your healing — stay faithful to the process.  I certainly did and what it did for me was incredible.   I am empty inside of pain and compromising.  I like me.  It is so freeing to say that and mean it.  

      • Domingo

        Dr K
        I am so grateful for you and this conference. I wanted to say that my first week at ReClaim I had an amazing facilitator (all of them are awesome).  She was well spoken and her gentleness was beautiful but yet very powerful.  She exemplified a level of wholeness that I admired and it is one of the reasons that I continued to “put my whole self in”. I want to achieve the same level of healing that you helped her receive.  Every Tuesday she takes the time to come and hug me and ask me how my week was.  Imagine my surprise when I saw this same person execute flawlessly the tearing exercise. 
        I just want to say thank you Dr K for teaching her and all the other wonderful woman of ReClaim how to love as a verb (an action towards a person…. my mini-me) because I have always thought love as a noun (a person, place, but not an action or a decision to treat me like I am somebody). 
        Nicole you inspire me to continue to get everything that Dr K is offering us in this conference, thank you.

  • Lin

    ALL IN – something wonderful happened to me last night…I saw a door & I went through it…I’m all “orange”. 

    AMAZING things happened once through that door…I screamed…I yelled…I beat the table…I beat the chair…I finally directed the self hate and the rage at Daddy & those who deserved it.  I wasn’t surprised by what came out of me…I knew all that was in me…the surprise was in how NOT DIRECTING IT AT MYSELF FREED ME…What a tremendous relief.  I’d never done that before.  Things fell off of me – fell to the floor;  I went home without them…I actually went home “without” them.  EPIC

    The ReClaim process is helping me more than I can say and in more ways than I can describe; one of the most healing things for me is realizing, accepting and embracing the fact that I am not alone.  I’ve deliberately isolated myself all these years…hiding…

    I think the biggest reason I got through the tearing session last night is because my ReClaim sisters were there with me – “with” me.  I could see them and their cry made my cry easier to release.

    I had some strange moments during the beat down – at one point I stood there like I actually was two or three years old just sobbing…wondering what was going on…wondering where the safe place was…I was weak, nausiated – dizzy and yet in that moment I was the most whole I’d ever been – I could clearly see my sisters fighting for the right to be heard…FOR THE RIGHT TO BE HEALED…I just took it in…so thankful to have found ReClaim.  Thank You Dr. K and Sistershood.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Gooood For Youuuu.  You shifted the blame and the shame.  You spoke up for you.  You met Mini-Me and you defended her.  Wonderful…wonderful…you bless my life.

    • Anonymous

      Lin, I am SO SO SO Happy and Excited for you.!!! Your a phenominal women. I am so glad I had the chance to me YOU. The Real YOU. The Lin that lights up the room, the smile that is contagious, i could go on and on. You have made my heart smile, well forever be sisters !!!

  • Anonymous

    I am so so thankful for you, Nicole. You are phenomenal and your love for us is always so obvious! We need you with us. Your big sister attitude strengthens me because I know someone has my back!! You will grab that paper and beat on my behalf and that my friend speak volumes. I love you my dearest ReClaim Sister!!!

  • Jolene

    I just want to take a moment and say I am so proud of you ladies for giving that little scared girl a voice last night. For once I took a moment and stood back… I was in shock! I seen ladies just standing crying, I seen ladies freaked the hell out, ladies beating poles and walls, I seen ladies emotionless.. but above all I seen PAIN! At the end of the day ladies, We ALL are in pain for what was taken/stolen from us and for that I am MAD! I want each and every one of you to keep on this track because I know what the trenches look like and I myself will not stand for BEAUTIFUL ladies like you to be covered in the mud of Sexual Abuse!!! The filth does not need to be on you.. Your perp deserves to be the filthy one.. You deserve to be “Zest Fully Cleaned” !!!!
    I had a vision last night when Shannon had us introduce ourselves and tell a few things about ourselves.. Then we were reminded that our Sexual Abuse was not “US”..Very true story!! Well my vision was this: How would a room full of Perps introduce themselves? Would they say their name, how many children they have, where they work and their dreams? My answer.. Yes they would act as if they were perfect and sweep thier dirt secrets under the rug, they may even share them as if it was a popularity contest!! But then imagine this: The same people in that room.. With us standing RIGHT on their back or in their face as they shared their info with the table.. Would they still boast? Or feel shame? Would they stutter or hang their heads? Well I think this.. They damn well better hang their head, they damn well feel that shame for their filthy, discusting secret.. And own up to that burden that we have carried all these years.. Take that shame!!! I do not give a damn where they work or what their dreams are.. They made a choice to shatter ours!! Bastards!!!  I guess my point in this is  just that we have wasted so much time of our precious lives with hurt and pain that you have to fully understand that you deserve to heal and be complete!! Be clean.. Be cleansed.. Be whole.. He did that to you, He deserves to suffer not you! He deserves to sit in a room of shame, not you!  Dr Kaye is our side, She has our back and I for 1 know this is the truth!!! I am a true testament that she is a WARRIOR and We together will DEFEAT this War! I love all you ladies and I hope you all have a great CLEAN Free rest of the week!!! Smooches!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Jolene — how could ReClaim be without our Jolene.  Yes, I am on YOUR side.  I am for the ReClaimers.  We stand together or we don’t stand at all.  Those who want this get it.  Those that don’t may they be healed from their pain anyway.  I can’t wait to dance at the Banquet.    I’m going to do a victory dance BECAUSE I can, BECAUSE I did, and BECAUSE I know God Will….!

  • Anonymous

    Last night I left the conference and screamed my heart out on the way home in the car. I prayed to God to help me be a whole person. I never knew there was another way to be. I thought I was a functioning adult but I realize that I am stuck in phase #3. I have been voiceless for too long and I am angry. I am angry that no one noticed that I was being abused. My parents divorced around the time that the abuse started and they were so caught up in the custody battle to even notice that I was there. No one asked me why I was sad. When my mom did get custody I was 7-8 years old. She would leave me at home alone  to go to the bars until it they closed at 2 am. I would wait up for her wondering if she would be ok. I remember sometimes she wouldn’t come home until the next morning. In those hours that I waited for her, I would be crying so hard scared that she had died or something happened to her. Those things have shaped the woman I have become. I have to know where my family are at all times. A couple of months ago my Dad wasn’t answering his phone and I drove all the way to St. Augustine to his house to make sure he was alright. I say all this because when Dr. Kaye was talking about pathology it hit home that I do what I do because of these past issues and it’s all connected. 

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You defended your Mini-me and I say GOOD, no very GOOD for you.  I learned I had to speak up for me.  I had to level the playing field.  I had to accept I was a child that should have been protected.  Children should not have to go through what we went through.  It’s NOT right.  Release yourself from you.  Reinvent yourself.  Recreate yourself until you find you.  You live amid all the crap.  Remember this;  it was never your job to BE THE PARENT, except with your own children…. 

  • A Note from Dr. K

    5:43 AM
    My Dear ReClaimers:  Tonight was incredible and yet bittersweet.  My heart is heavy — yet it breathes again.   The movement of emotion in the room was phenomenal.  It was not only cathartic, but also it was a roar, a charge, a shout out to the world.  We are coming — and we are serious.  God help those who will abuse children after they hear our ReClaim message.  Truth is coming with us.  No more silent crimes, silent children. Take your hands off our children.

    My Dear ReClaimers — breathe.  Smell the air.  Pick a rose.  Breathe knowing that your Mini-Me has been heard.  She deserves to be heard.  She has walked in silence long enough.  I was happy to see her tonight taking up for herself.   I love you all deeply.  You are beautiful.  You are a woman. Roar! For those who need to hear it –Girl, you will be a woman soon, enjoy you!!  Forever, I thank you, Dr. K

    • Anonymous

      Dr Kaye, I am drenched in orange paint!!

    • Anonymous

      that is beautul. we love you DK. I think your the bomb.com

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/7VJT56TFC23AQPP7WZZLQHYJWA HCTaylor

    Tonight gave me a rude awakening to the fact
    that until you fight for you, you cannot fight for others.  I was able to fight for the little me.  The little girl that I was never able to put
    a face to but knew existed.  Tonight I
    came to terms with the facts that while I was faceless, numb and without
    emotions I still had a right to be defended. 
    I still had a right to have a voice and for someone to speak out for
    me.  I was able to put a voice to the
    little girl hiding in the dark that just sat there rocking and waiting for someone
    to come and open my door way from the hell and torment that I lived in
    daily.  Tonight I was able to weep for
    the voiceless, weep for the faceless and weep for the little girl that has lost
    the connection to her emotions.  You see
    for many years I did not know what I looked like because I never had a mirror
    to look into.  I did grow up taking baby
    pictures, or school pictures.  The first sight
    of me was when I was about 10 or 11. 
    That is when I got to look at myself in the mirror.  That was when I realized who the little me
    was.  My first picture was when I was 12
    (I had my hair in two and had to pose for the picture that my mom took in our
    home.  I remember the pink dress I had on
    with frills on it.) My first ever picture. 
    I did not realize how I blocked this out until tonight.  When I had to weep and defend my little girl
    and realized that I could not see her face. Although I did not have a face……I
    was able to have a voice!  Thank you for
    this Dr. Kaye….Thank you from all the faceless and the voiceless childrens! 

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are my blessing.  You and I have things to do together.  You remain strong.  LY Dr. K

  • Anonymous

    I am not sure how to even start my comment, so I am going to just dive right in. I am pissed off. I am mad that the world has shut their eyes and ignored what is happening to the little girls around the world. A little girl should not be forced to know what a penis taste or feels like in her mouth! That is barbaric and asinine!! Where are the parents, why aren’t the mothers protecting their babies?!! A lioness will bite your head off if you so much as come within 10 feet of her young and if you ask me….she has more sense then many human mothers!! The intensity and energy that should be in a woman to protect her young should be just as apparent to pedophiles! There is real evil prowling over our kids, waiting for the opportunity to pounce and take away their innocence, WE NEED TO TREMBLE, THIS MUST STOP, NOW!! What do you do when your child’s dream of being a princess is replaced with the horror of seeing that cousin or that uncle? What do you do when a child’s favorite game of hide and seek, is replaced with threats to murder them and their mothers if they ever told the little game daddy play with her by raping her over and over again? You know what, America need to wake up and stop trying to save the manatees and save our children!!  We can not ignore that little girl that was thrust in such perverted darkness, anymore! My father should have protected me, my mother should have believed and my family should have taken my side. But instead, my father molested me, my mother called me a liar and my family called me crazy! There is no way this is right! Alot of people are having a really hard time seeing this as an issue….well let me paint a picture for you, imagine a huge great dane taking a chiuaua. You want to know what a child’s mind go through when they are molested? Think of the worst horror movie you could think of. Since I don’t really watch horror movies, I will just tell you of the one that frightened me as a child…..”Freddy Krueger” invading and moving in on the movie “Mary Poppins.” Or some other innocent kid movie! The point, is, that little child’s world was completely innocent with lillies and lollipops and the like, then the darkness snatched that away from them and the world ignored it, as if that child’s life is meaningless!! What will become of this baby when they are grown? Dr Kaye is Awesome! Everything she did and is doing was so strategic and it may not make sense now, but it will!! What she did last night will be forever etched in my brain and I am forever grateful to her for what she is doing for these little children! The world need what she have. Mother of America is here to help that child get her voice back!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      The world will not ever fully live until it hears from your and your story.  This I know.  This I have told you numerous times.  Keep your compassion.  It is beautiful.  Dr. K

    • Anonymous

      I love your passion. Thanks for being in Reclaim and helping Dk with her mission. You are awsome and Reclaim wouldn’t be the same without you. Thanks for helping people speak up for their min- me as well. that was so powerfu;. I cried

  • KB

    I screamed and yelled tonight and I’m glad I did. I have more to scream and I plan to take the first available day I’ll be alone and do some more. Maybe a pillow or some taped-up junk mail… Here’s the thing: so much of my anger, and all of the Phase 1 characteristics were evident in me long before any kind of sexual abuse occurred. Truly, I don’t remember ever having a voice–it was taken from me when I was very small, and had it been in tact, the majority of my particular abuse could not have occurred. It was after seeing my sisters tonight that it became evident to me that going back to my sexual abuse wasn’t far enough–I am going to look at the phases in reference to the emotional abuse (specifically threats of abandonment) and see how they apply. And then I plan to beat the bed and scream about that. I lived my life trying to be invisible, because it is less painful for you never to see me than it is for you to see me and leave me when I make a mistake. That is messed up. And somebody’s going go hear about it. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

    Thank you Mama Kaye, and Big Sisters, for tonight.
    And for creating a place where we can be real. That’s rare not only for abuse survivors, but for anyone anywhere. How many people have a place that is that emotionally safe? ReClaim truly is a gift, and I am very, very thankful to have the privilege of partaking in it.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Just one more scream?  Every time you have a need to scream, to take up for yourself — always do it.  I thought I had just one more scream, and I found another and another and another.  I let it come each time.  Each time I vindicated my Mini-Me and birthed a little more of my authentic self.  I like me.  I take care of me.  You were innocent as a child.  Don’t ever forgot that.  You were not invisible either — you were right in front of them.   They failed your Mini-Me.   But, you defend her.  You were innocent. Love you.  You deserve it.  You are beautiful.  Dr. K

      • Anonymous

        Dr Kaye is so right! I have been in ReClaim for six years and I find myself screaming like it is my first! Last night I screamed, not just for me, but for the other little girls! I am so proud of you and other ReClaimers who put their “whole self in.” last night! Even for those that didn’t, because they will eventually get their voice! Dr Kaye, said it so beautifully last night, “someone of you don’t know what happened, but there were words sown into you last night, when you do get your voice, you will have these words to connect with.” ReClaim is definitely a process! Honor the process!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve never “had anything to say”. But tonight… it’s different. Since the first Tuesday, I have had the worst nightmares. But I was told this would happen… soooo, I guess I am waiting for them to go away, again.

     I have always – for as long as I can remember – had an anger, a rage that kept me warm and fueled my ambitions. I never knew what I was angry at until tonight.  You see, the man that opened the door to abuse in my life had the audacity… the unmitigated gall to DIE before I could confront him as an adult. You see, as a child I was made to apologize to my abuser. But his daughter – the one who caused me to later in life question my own sexuality – didn’t get away that easily. After moving to Florida, I found out she was here in Fort Lauderdale and made the 358 mile drive with a one month old and a husband in tow and fought her like a man. I marked her like she marked me… except the mark I left can be seen.

    Fast forward to tonight, I found myself stuck at the fact that I trusted her and her daddy. I wasn’t able to get past the fact that family had hung me out to dry. Tonight, I drove home with little Frenchy sitting beside me.  In my mind, I saw her looking at me with those sad, brown eyes that are now mine.  I pulled over, and made the mistake of looking at those eyes in the mirror. I screamed and yelled and cursed until the car shook and the windows fogged up.

    Now that I am home, I had to write this before I pass out. I guess it has begun…

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Yes, it has begun.  The path has begun to ReClaim you.  I’m so glad you screamed out for you.  Let the car shake.  Let the earth shake.  Let the world know — she’s had enough; she had too much; and it wasn’t right.  Remember this — they own the shame you don’t.  Give them your anger too by crying out for your Mini-Me.  Through that she will be vindicated and you will discover your authentic self.  Rest knowing that you did a very good thing tonight.  Know that you also spoke up for other children.  Your cries made it to God’s ears.  God moves when children cry.  Keep your passion.  I LY.

  • Anonymous

    God Bless Dr. K & the Reclaim Team!!!  Also, Thanks for the birthday song and treats and especially the ”TEARING” on my birthday 10.23.2012. i am truly grateful and will never forget this evening.

    /carolyn

    • A Note from Dr. K

      When we hugged tonight my heart leapt.  H-BD to you again.  When you told me tonight that ReClaim was an awesome birthday gift –for some reason it reminded me about when I was in college, and on my 30th b-day my professor told me I did my term paper wrong and it put my GPA in jeopardy.  I know it might not make much sense, and it certainly does not compare to SA — but I remember feeling so alone at that time because I had tried so hard, and I had no one to go to, to cry to  – and there I was feeling alone again in my life.  Bouts of loneliness can be part of SA.   Point is — I understand your appreciation of ReClaim.  It was a bittersweet night for everyone.  But, I heard your cries.   You had a safe place to come to and be heard.   I don’t want you to ever forget this birthday.  You were liberated, you were heard.  I am happy for you…truly happy.  The sun will come out brighter everyday for you from this point forward.  Yay! 

  • Lin

    I like being alone; Now I see why.  I’m very selective when I do spend time socially; Now I see why.  I don’t get close…ever…and I tend to deflect advances from others to get close to me…scares me…unless it’s a project or job or an outreach thing…then I thrive being obscure and just one of the team; Now I see why.  As a matter of fact…I “see” lots of things…WHAT I DON’T SEE IS THE WAY OUT.  I’m not talking about the “spiritual” way out…I’m a person of faith…I’m sure it seems as though I’m talking craziness – but I WANT OUT of something I can’t even describe…no wonder I’m stuck…and yes, I see why…but, Is there a way out? Is my future going to be a series of seminars…is that my new lot in life…every time the child in me sees a heading that pertains in some way I run to sign up…to search it out…I don’t think I like that…I’m sure I don’t like that…I’ve got things to do…pictures to paint…cards to print…orphans to visit…I’d rather just be whatever it is I think is normal from one minute to the next…but then…Now I see why I’m that way and why THAT doesn’t work.   Help me…I feel like a hamster in a wheel.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      There is a way out, an easy way.  I know it might be hard to hear me say how simple it is — but if I could I would convince everyone of this one thing. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.  I clearly remember the day when I decided not to be crazy anymore.  I just refused to participate in crazy.  I accepted me without the crazy. I quit listening to me.   I thought.  I pondered.  I began good, mature reactions to my life.  Rather than wondering where I was, I began to recreate me.  I let the voices go inside my heard and stopped listening to them.   I let go of the fight and decided to smile, to love, and to give to others.  In all of that I found me…I let my issues go and I discovered my authentic self.  I AM the bombdotcom, and so are you.  You are beautiful.  Don’t let God give you His best — and you not take it.  You are His best.  Enjoy you.  You deserve this healing.  Get off the hamster wheel…rest in you, and laugh your butt off.  Life is funny.  Life is ironic.  But, we know who holds tomorrow.  You can be authentic.  Find out who you are and be her and love her.  There you have it — see how simply complicated that is.  LOL   L O V E Y O U M O R E..

  • kate

    I come home from work everyday and the first thing I do is check what my ReClaim sisters have blogged for the day.  Thank you for sharing because  something always leaps out to me and them my thoughts show me more pieces to the puzzle .   I remembered how fearful I was all those years and the voice of doubt filled my ears this week many times,, I think something positive and feel like I’m heading in the right direction and” BAM”  doubt comes to pay a visti. I read my notes last night and went over the phases we covered on Tueday and I’ve been there for so long,  I’ve played this pretend game for so long I don’t know how to stop sometimes or when I’m really uncomfortable I become that kid who can’t handle anything in reality.   Thank you Dr. Kaye and ReClaimer sisters, I have needed you so much.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      We have needed you, too, Kate.  You will be fine…you will do great.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Holyfield7 Rand Holyfield

    It’s Friday; since the first ReClaim session to now I look at my notes and believe I’m progressing even if only in microscopic nuances. I no longer care about how big or how little my steps are…I no longer disregard my inner child (me), I no longer silence her (me),  I no longer deliberately stuff emotions and memories…I’m talking about to “my own current abilities” here…not saying I’m out of the woods by any means…BUT…in doing this I’ve discovered that the many types of abuses – physical & psychological, even life threatening occurrences – that went on in my life are clouding and adding to the sexual abuse issues and I don’t think I can tell the difference anymore, one from another…just putting that out there.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Yay…you are making GREAT PROGRESS!  Don’t let anyone silence you again.  Be bold about your sexual abuse.  Put the shame, the blame where it belongs, and that is certainly NOT you.  See you Tuesday — we will go deeper.  LY Dr. K

  • Anonymous

    I have many thoughts going through my brain. How do you go on with your life in between Reclaim tuesdays and function normally while you are going through this process? I want to find my authentic self but I find myself pushing her back down just to focus on life here and now. Also, my husband has been wonderful but the other night I found myself reliving the abuse while we were in bed. I have not thought of that in years and it creeped in. I do want to say that he has been amazing and patient and I am so blessed to have him.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I know it is hard, BUT this is part of the process.  The pain has always been there — you need to give attention to it, to your Mini-Me.  I know it’s hard to function between sessions, too.  That’s part of the process, to get you alone with your thoughts, so that you can deal with them. I’m thankful that you have your hubby, too.  I’m very thankful for you, too.  Just know this — you will get better.

  • breimjustme

    I JUST WANNA SCREAM FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!!! I am so much lighter emotionally since Tuesday. My sleep was so peaceful, that I purposely decided not to get up for anything just so that I could enjoy the feeling. I am thankful for Dr. Kaye and the ReClaimers for all they are doing for us. I never thought I could get rid of this pain, guilt, and shame. I realized just how screwed up I really am AND was at the time. My facilitator and co facilitator both helped me to realize how crazy and sad my situation was.. I had NO ONE. I had to come to the realization that I had a bad mom, she wasn’t equipped to have kids, she was too selfish for starters. Sadly, I realized I was a child that was never parented, I just grew up and figured everything out on my own.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      It’s amazing what we discover about our lives in ReClaim.  I’m thrilled you had peaceful sleep.  Thank you for your kind comments.  I LY 

  • GirlyChef

    Let me also say this, Dr. Kaye nails it EVERYTIME she stands at the podium and teaches us these truths! EVERYTIME, I am amazed at how hearing these teachings over, and over produce such different results in my life.  I never get tired of hearing them, they resonate within me.  These teachings have severely impacted my life,  and those closest to me are the direct beneficiaries of my healing, and growth. I LIKE ME!  as a matter of fact I LOVE ME! and that my sisters is the ReClaim Global Truth!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Awe shucks…let’s keep growing together!!!

  • GirlyChef

    I heard someone say that they were not getting anything out of the conference information so far, and my heart was and continues to grieve! It goes to show how childhood sexual abuse can lock you down so tight, that even when light is shining and help is readily available it cannot be seen or received! I am so proud of all of the  ladies who have made a decision to go all in, I promise you, you will not be disappointed. Although I have been with RG for almost 4 years, I go all in at each and every conference and meeting we have! Why do I do that? you might asked, because long ago I decided to do exactly what Dr. Kaye has said, and I “honor the process of ReClaim.” I still learn, I still receive, and I still grow.  I choose to treat ReClaim like the Hokey Pokey…….I put my whole self in, so that I can bring my WHOLE “Authentic Self” out.  I have never once regretted ReClaim, and I am grateful to Dr. Kaye.  Truly Grateful! 

  • http://www.sievarealtyllc.com/ Eva Maaieh

    WOW… Dr. K.  You never cease to amaze me… You are a GOD sent.  Last night was…. indescribable.   Ever since I was reclaimed at the last conference, my life has changed and continues to change daily.  While looking at the different phases and I can now see where I was… and where I am!!  THANK YOU for making sense of all the nonsense, hurt, pain, suffering, self sabotage, and confusion that entered our hearts and soul when we were VIOLATED!!…   I am sooo thankful that I have 3 family members in there getting reclaimed.  I am so glad to be where I am, who I am with, and where I am going… thank you and I look forward to working with you all more and more to bring awareness to a community close to my heart… The Arabic community.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NO more silent crimes NO more silent children!!!!!!!!

    • breimjustme

      Eva, I’m thankful for you and your family. Had it not been for Suzie, I wouldn’t have realized the extent of my abuse and more importantly, my innocence. God bless you all.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I am thankful for your family being part of this ReClaim.  Families certainly need to heal.  Yes, on the Arabic community, and everyone else, in every country, nation, ethnicity, race, culture, religion…Enough is absolutely enough!!!!!!

  • kate

    Last night as Dr. Kaye spoke about  the phases in our lives I realated  to  75% of them.   I was sad, denfenseless , ashamed, betrayed and trust is my biggie to name just a few.  This conference is showing me how to connect to others and now that my story has been told its time to take care of the mini me that I’ve hated for so long.  Its like I have permission to be who I’am now,  not t forget her but don’t let her keep me in bondage with whispers of lies, or discouragement or self doubt, or envy etc.  I don’t know what lies ahead next week but I chose to trust that it will be good and for me to continue to grow. I would love to be part of the support group. Newbie ReClaimer
    Thank you Dr. Kaye

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Wow — only 75%, huh?  Then, you are well ahead of many of the ReClaimers.  No wait — I have more to reveal to you.  If you’re like me — sooner or later you will find out you’re more messed up than you ever realized.  LOL   Just kidding.  You’re fine wherever you all.  

      • kate

        Oops slip of the key!!!! More like 99 and half or more… %.
        I’m having a crappy day, will you please pray for… I didn’t go the deep end, so something is changing. Hugs K

  • Anonymous

    Hello, last night was good. I cried for our sister last night and I cried for me this morning. I’m not sure what to do with all this STUFF. I am processing it but I am also realizing that the domestic violence that was going on in my home when I was a little girl is still impacting me too. I hurt for a lot of reasons still that I thought I had really dealt with; only to find I mastered pushing them down and I’m not the adult I thought I was. Thanks for calling me on the carpet Moma Kaye. I want to pick through all the STUFF and deal with it and help the little girl inside. I want to be orange all over from the waterfall. Thank you Dr. Kaye.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I will be talking about emotional abuse at the next session.  I hurt for every ReClaimer…every one of them.  If our sister believes she is healed, then, I say WONDERFUL.  She is a rare individual.   I’m very happy for her.  But, like I said 99.9% of every person in ReClaim finds a lot of the information applies to them.  ReClaim works, this I do know.

  • Lin

    I’m sure I’m not alone when I say: How “crushing” was it to hear the silent screams and to feel the silent weight of the sister who couldn’t speak last night…I just want to say so – I know it enraged a few of us, with good reason…but, I also felt the blows of what her experience did to her.  I was her before ReClaim…I’m never at a loss for words – I come off as ms social butterfly because I love people, but I could never “tell it” until ReClaim made me realize that I needed to be “all in to get all out”.  I’ve had so much sorrow in my life that I just want to go around making people happy…I became a pretender…but I certainly felt every bit of her pain last night…no pretense there…I’m praying for her today.

    • breimjustme

      Amen. I was the same way prior to coming to Reclaim, but I prayed that I would be able to open up so that I could heal. I love that dear sister more than she knows, she is an awesome woman and has inspired me in ways she couldn’t imagine. I want more than anything for her to get her healing… She needs it and I’m going to be believing for whatever has been deposited in her to take root and begin to grow.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Prayer is always good.  Outward love is better.  Pain is not an option.  We must press in and be healed.  LY

    • Erin Pruett

       Yes, I have been praying for her as well. I am not normally an emotional person but did become emotional as I listened to her speak. In the moment I was not even sure why it affected me so much but over the past few days as I have processed the experience, I realize that I am empathic to where this person is. I realized that I was saddened for her, because I remember being in a place where I was so tough that I did not want to accept the help that I was being given. I also remember a time when I cried out for help, and there was no one there to help. As I listened to her, I wanted to say, “you do not need to be tough, but please just accept the love and the help being offered to you.” After thinking about my thoughts towards her, I realized this is exactly what I have previously, and still at times need to be telling myself. Although I still pray that this women comes back and receives help, it was very good for me to hear her speak honestly. It was kind of an ah-ha moment of telling myself, “do not be the person that does not fully accept the help that is being offered to you”.

  • Lin

    I’m so glad to be in ReClaim sessions with you Dr K and with all you ladies…I finally “believe” I’M NOT ALONE…big huge deal to me…another big deal is that I “see myself” in every one of the 4 phases discussed last night…I did see a few authentic things…but mostly…I saw a combination of all 4…and I’m glad for it…yes, it’s kind of scary, cuz I’m thinking…wow…I’m nothing more than a great pretender…maybe my authentic me should’ve been an actress…or certainly a comedian…but really it’s not one bit funny…and it feels real good to say so…I love what’s happening to me right now…I’m able to cry when I have to with my mini-me…no longer shushing her into silence or abusing her, tormenting her by stuffing her in a black hole…oh no…no more…I stand up…I speak out…I reclaim my life…I love myself…mini-me IS ME…I don’t hate her – myself – anymore.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Authentic Lin COME FORTH.  You are beautiful!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=624371008 Joy Graydon

    After reading some of the post I came to realize I’m still trying to hide my mini me inside.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=624371008 Joy Graydon

    We are going to make it Lin!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=624371008 Joy Graydon

    Dr. Kaye, I want to say I needed last night’s conference
    soooo bad. Out of all the counseling that I go through, last night I felt that
    I had released years of hurt, pain, resentment, hatred, sexual promiscuity, loneliness,
    anger, frustration, selfishness, co-dependency, and envy and more off my life.
    Phases I-III were all me!!! I never thought that it was until last night. As a
    counselor, I thought myself to be Cool, Calm, and collected, but that wasn’t
    the case. I wasn’t helping others with all the stuff that I had inside me!!! I
    used my daughter as my co-dependent and now that she’s healed from her seizures
    and finding herself, I feel lost. I always had her to keep my thoughts at bay
    and now I have to deal with them. I’ve taken on new skin to say and I’m going
    to get rid of all the past hurt, shame, guilt, control, defensiveness,
    complaining, wow is me foolishness out of my life. God has closed doors and
    silenced everyone around me to keep me from running from this. I believe I’m
    where I need to be right now so God can work on me and heal me so I can move to
    the next level. I have so much to offer the world but I couldn’t do it with the
    SHIT. Sorry that I was carrying around with me. I’m sitting here MAD that I let
    it keep me soooo bound for sooooo long!!!!! All the stuff I missed in my life
    because of what I let CONTROL me!!!! I was stuffing my feeling and letting MEN
    control my body even though I thought I was doing it, but I WASN’T!!! Low
    self-esteem, poor body image, judgmental, thinking that I was better then
    everyone, but now look God had to bring me down to rise me up to where he wants
    me to be. Dewayne Black doesn’t have control of me anymore, my uncle and all
    the past relationships don’t have control over me anymore!!!!!!! I still have
    work to do but I will DO IT!!! I do have a VOICE!! Stupid Asses!!! Sorry again.
    Stay Blessed

    • Lin

      Hi Joy – I’m so glad you shared this; Something you said…”so much to offer but couldn’t”…oh my…me too…I love children…orphans in particular…can’t get passed my “crap” – my phase combinations to really be effective…I’m pushing – determined to get past the fear of the truth…telling it…I’m telling as much as I can recall about the monsters who violated me and made me believe I was worthless…insignificant…unwanted…and so on…you’re right…WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT OUT OF “THERE”!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Joy, you have found your place to be.  ReClaim was designed for people like us.  Yes, you have voice.  Be Bold.  Be Strong…speak up and speak out!!!  Be with ReClaim!

  • KB

    Dr. Kaye–thank you so much for what you taught us tonight. Things have definitely shifted after having the realization that I shared tonight–and thank you for letting me talk–I really needed to talk…This really shed light on the way I have been holding onto chaos–in my physical world and in my behavior–as a connector to my past…I haven’t wanted to accept that it was what it was and it will NEVER be anything else but what it was….I think I wandered around in these dysfunctions from my past in denial, hoping that some way I could find what was missing…find something to fill the void…rewrite my childhood…but it is over. The chapters are closed and I can do nothing at all to change what they were–it is over.

    It is strange that I have felt so loyalty to the point of hurting myself and denying my own needs / wants / wishes in order to keep from hurting the feelings of those who bear responsibility in this.

    I want to ask you, Dr. Kaye, to tell me I was innocent. You know my story as a teenager–you know what happened–I remember sitting on my bed at night wanting to kill myself–hating myself for not being stronger, and sure I God was so disappointed with me because of how impure I was being. I don’t care what was acceptable and considered okay and what the rules were–I just know I wanted to be okay just to be me, I wanted to be able to do what we best for me and know that those with me would stand by me and support me. I wanted someone to protect me and tell me and say, “Don’t you dare put your hands on my daughter!” Or better yet, “Kristi, you don’t have to go out with anybody if you don’t want to.”

    I wish someone had equipped me with a “no!”–a guilt-free, forget-about-being-nice “NO!”

    • breimjustme

      I feel and felt the same way… You WERE innocent, we all were innocent! I still wished someone equipped me with a “no” as well. After I got home, I realized I wasn’t taught ANYTHING…not even the basics of being a female. I got angry and had to let it out, but Praise God we are where we need to be, and just like you, I finally feel like I belong in Reclaim. Thank you for your posts, because it helped me realize someone else felt the same way I felt in my teen years.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are so beautiful to me — you are innocent — you are wonderful.  You are nice.

      • KB

        Thank you so much–needed to hear it from you…

  • KB

    Soooo looking forward to tonight. Last week was the first time i actually bought into the idea that i really was sexually abused. Everything Dr. Kaye wrote on the board applied to me…it lifted the veil off of my eyes…and the ladies responses during my tellinf were so affirming and enouraging. I felt safe, validated, and for the first time I felt like I really indeed do belong at ReClaim–

  • GirlyChef

    I cannot wait for tomorrow night.  Although I know some may dread it, I can assure you it is all worth it!

  • GirlyChef

    Someone asked me the other day, ” How was the conference the other night?” My response was, “It was great!” For a split second it dawned on me that I was commenting on a large group of women telling about their sexual abuse, and my response was, “It was great! and it ABSOLUTELY WAS THAT! Although hearing about childhood sexual is soul wrenching, I am so grateful to finally find a place where not only can you tell, but you are not judged or criticized by what happened to you.  You are not “known” by your abuse, it is not a mark on your head.  People know me for what my dreams are, who my family is, not my abuse.  I feel so special! Thank you Dr. Kaye for being a safe place for me and so many others to tell our stories!

  • Anonymous

    When I went through ReClaim 3 years ago, I always wanted to have a REALLY good excuse as to why I couldn’t make it.  I either had a bad day at work, a headache, was hungry and didn’t feel like being bothered with people, my stomach was hurting from all the stress of bringing up memories, I was in school so I had a lot on my plate, etc…I could’ve went on and on.  I was angry when I arrived to class and didn’t want to talk to any of the ladies.  However, I made it to every class despite the obstacles of the day and how out of control I felt.   No matter how many excuses I wanted to make there was one fact that remained…I needed help.  Deep inside I knew that Dr. Kaye had what I needed to be healed so I honored the process of ReClaim.  At times I felt numb or wanted to throw up because of how disgusting my parents were towards me.  But my life was on the line and I refused to walk around like a hot mess anymore!  Because of ReClaim I am so free!!!  I’m not bitter, confused, angry, unforgiving, opinionated (told you I was a hot mess!).  My dear sisters, I know what you’re going through and trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  You can do this.  I’m here with you, the ReClaimers are here with you and most importantly, Dr. Kaye is here with you.  I love you all and can’t wait to see you tomorrow!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You need to listen to Faith.  She speaks truth.  She is an AWESOME ReClaimer.  In fact, she is part of a group, I call my Dream Team.  She tags in with me every week and on every part of the ReClaim vision.  She’s like me — she lives to make sure others get healed.  I truly love this woman — and all of you, too. 

    • breimjustme

      Every time I show up feel a little antisocial and I have to remind myself, that I won’t get anywhere with an attitude like that. It’s good to know I’m not the only one and to know that this was your attitude back then and to see and hear you now, gives me hope that I can too be helped.

      • Anonymous

         I am filled with joy that you have hope now.  As you continue to go through ReClaim you will get in touch with your authentic self and realize that most of your “antisocial” attitudes stem from the abuse.  It’s not who you really are; you are beautiful inside and out.  You are a bright spot in ReClaim. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=624371008 Joy Graydon

      Thank you Faith for pushing me to come to Reclaim.. You know I made excuses to not come even though I couldn’t afford to come to Reclaim, God made a way. That day when i emailed you and told you I couldn’t make it because I was spending time with my daughter and mom. I was sitting there but they were doing their own thing and I was depressed and didn’t want to face reality. BUT I’m so glad you sent me a response and told me you loved me and that I needed this. I feel like I’m not LOVED. But last night showed me to love myself and then I can see the love around me.. Thank you so much for being strong, loving, caring and genuine. You knew me before Reclaim and I thought I had it all together.

      • Anonymous

         Joy, I love you dearly.  You are a remarkable woman and I’m so glad to know you.  You deserve to be healed and that’s why I was pushing for you to come to ReClaim.  You are the testimony the world needs to hear. 

  • A Note from Dr. K

    Happiness is good.  Keep it up.  I choose to be happy.  Tomorrow will be even better.  We go deeper each week.  Uh, the worst is not over yet, but it has a bigger promise to make you better.  Just keep your seat belt fastened.  You will be happier than ever when you’re all finished.  You ARE NOT crazy, when we choose NOT to be crazy!!!!  Yes, things can be different.  You can choose to believe in you.

  • Anonymous

    Hi Ladys last tuesday was hard for me but i made it through the night i slept with such peace that I overslept the next day for work. but it was worth it. I must be honest i never knew that my life would take a drastic look back into the time capsule the i placed myself in all those years ago. I can truly say a Huge Thanks to Dr. Kay For her knowledge and understanding in my time of great need. You are truly a blessing from God. I’m also thankful for your staff of former RE-CLAIMERS to help us througt this time. I’m taking my LIFE BACK. No more hurt,anger,bitterness,or shame. Now i can have a real marrige with my husband and not blame him for what someone else did.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      I’m so glad you slept with peace, and even overslept.  I must have done my job then.  LOL  Yes, abuse victims live in a time capsule.  You are a pleasure to serve.  Thank you for honoring the process of ReClaim.

  • A Note from Dr. K

    You’re are not cold hearted at all.  You just have created such a gap between your Mini-Me and yourself and when that happens — generally — people get lost somewhere.  You are the only one who can defend yourself.  Let me tell you this — had I known what was happening to you — there would have been hell to pay to those who abused you.  YOU WERE A CHILD.  You deserved to live a happy, carefree life.  So, it didn’t happen.  Now, you deserve to heal.  The child that lives in you needs a voice.  She deserves to be heard and healed.  Fight for her.  Please.

    • SAD05

      Thank you. I was honestly brought tears reading this and I will fight with all I have! I had to update my profile name to the correct one… My initials don’t portray the image I want.

  • Anonymous

    Last Tuesday was a difficult one but a progressive one as well.  Although I know I am innocent and “feel” innocent, it still is hard to mentally “re-live” what happened.  I understand now that this process is about removing shame in addition to guilt.  Addressing the little girl within who had no one watching her or protecting her allowed me to see that it is NEVER meant for a child to hold such shame and guilt.  It is NEVER okay to leave a child to feel abandoned with no one to run to, talk to, or feel like they are safe.  Every one of these sessions that I go to takes another layer of pressure off of the suppressed little girl within so that I can move forward in life.  Thank you Dr. Kaye and all of the ReClaimers that aid in helping us ReClaim our lives back.  A million thank-yous and more.

    • A Note from Dr. K

      Let me say this…wow oh wow…you are really getting it.  You see the ReClaim vision, to promote innocence of children.  It can’t be stolen.  Why should it be stolen.  Our childhood is our entire foundation.     Yes it is hard to mentally “re-live” as you say.  But, I know you know that this part of the process. It is the ONLY way to vindicate Mini-Me.  You are such an incredible woman.  I am angry that no one was watching over you.  I HATE IT when a child’s childhood is stolen.  THAT’S NOT RIGHT.   Keep coming back…more layers to come off.  You will discover you are the bomb.com. LOL

  • kate

    Last Tueday at the conference Dr. Kaye taught about the little girl that is whith in us , the mini me!  After leaving for home that night and all this week.  I’ve started to discover who she is and how she stopped growing after my abuse. I use to smile alot and wasn’t afraid and the older I became my happiness faded out of me. I thought I was stupid and incapable of being a person because of the people in my life always told me I would’t amount to much because I was stupid. Some said it verbally and some didn’t have to say anything  I could read between the lines, action speaks lounder that words.  I figured that they must be right because I didn’t have what it took to get a handle on it.  My brother said to me one day when I told him I had left my husband because he was abusing me sexually, he said “HE’S NOT ABUSING YOU , YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO KEEP A MAN”  that’s all that’s wrong with you.  I was told lies and I was so beat down by others and  myself.  I told myself that I wasn’t normal otherwise I would have grown up and married and stayed married like couples grow old together.  I asked my Mom one day, Mom I’m so ugly no one would ever want me and she just said that was a stupid thing to say.  There was that word “stupid” 
    Going to ReClaim has opened my eyes , heart and soul.  Its exciting and scary at the same time but somethng inside pushes me beacaue I know now I’m not who I thought I was.  I want the mini me to grow and not be afraid anymore. I read this, this morning after I came back from church.   Psalm 34:4-5 NIV I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears; Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame!
    Thank you Dr. Kaye for having one more conference and from the botton of my heart!

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are so beautiful.  You remember when we first met, right?  That was no accident.  It’s your time.  It’s your season to heal.  Take it all.  God is giving it all to you.  Don’t be confused.  Don’t look to the left or the right.  Concentrate on you.  You count now, and you count for a lot.  Don’t let the past control you ever again.  Don’t let yesterday control you.  Stay strong in who you are.  If you think you’re sad — can you imagine how God thinks?  He wants abundant life for you.  Grab it.  Take it. Go for the gusto.  It’s all for you….and me….and every other woman in the room.   We are not stupid, we are ReClaimers.

      • kate

        Dr. Kaye, Yes I do remember and  I’m so thankful for meeting you that day.  I had no idea that this  healing process was going to hit me like it has.  I know  I’m not stupid but I’ve carried that lie around inside of me so long that its not easy to break this pattern.  One minute i’m ok and than a thought crosses my mind and I’m laying on the floor in tears.   I’ve been a fighter all my life and this is no difference I will climb this mountain.    When you said I’m beautiful I just hung on to those words and began to weep.  No one has ever called me beautiful!!!  That made my day.  Until Tuesday!

  • Anonymous

    CONT’d.

    Then you will be able to nurture her and watch her grow and see the light shine in your eyes again… Trust me… We are so blessed to be in ReClaim especially right before it goes global then international to reach the world to STOP THIS HORRIBLE FILTH HURTING OUR KIDS AND FAMILY!!!

  • Anonymous

    Hello my beautiful ReClaim sister.
    I was reclaimed at the last conference and I want to tell you… What your feeling is very normal…. There isn’t anything wrong with you. That little girl is you and she is feeling alone, scared, confused, rejected, betrayed, unloved, scarred, scared, ashamed, guilty, belittled, feeling unworthy, and she needs you… She didn’t deserve what she got… SHE DESERVED PROTECTION!!! And that’s where you come in… Now she has you. The strong courageous woman who won’t stop until she gets to the root of this Pain from her abuse and pluck it out of her life…. TRUST the process. TRUST yourself. You CAN do this. Nothing or NO ONE can hold you down any longer. The shame is on them! I promise if you continue to do everything Dr. Kaye instructs us to do, including blogging which is like journaling which help

    • A Note from Dr. K

      You are such an inspiration. But, your inspirations has only just begun.  I mean it — I want you to work with me closely.  I want you to take the ReClaim healing method into many, many communities.  I will teach you.  I will train you.  I love you a dillion!

      • http://www.sievarealtyllc.com/ Eva Maaieh

        Thank you Dr. K.. I receive it and I am honored…. GOT TO GET THE WORD OUT!!!

  • GirlyChef

    Someone approached me the other day and said, “how was the conference?” My response was, “It was great!” Then for a split second I thought to myself, “sitting around a room telling people what happened to me as a child…how I was violated, what about that is great?” Then I thought about how freeing it was, to finally let out the mess that resonated on the inside of me like a pus filled sore. It hurt like hell to have to go back to that horrid place, the smells, the memories, and in some cases the lack of memories, all of it. I am not sure why Dr. Kaye asked me to go there, but she told us to “honor the process” I will trust her, because so many others have, and I want to be where they are! 

    • Anonymous

      I want you to continue you to be faithful and honor the process of ReClaim.  You are well on your way. I know it’s hard to do the process.  I’ve done it myself.  Then, after I did it too — I discovered how free I was.  No more dirty little secrets.  I transferred the shame from me to them.  Yes, there are memories, but we have to walk through them all…and let them all go…in order to be free from them.  Don’ ignore your little Mini-Me.  She deserves to heal!  Right?

    • Anonymous

      ReClaim is great.  And, that is a great description for it.  Yep, sitting in a room surrounded by a bunch of Mini-Me’s is overwhelming at times — at least it is until it does like you say — produce freedom.  WE have to release the mess that holds us back.  We deserve to heal.  Thank you for your kind words.  Dr. K

  • Anonymous

    Thru reclaim, I have been able to put the pieces together… fill in the gaps so to speak.  I always thought I was losing my mind, I never understood why I couldn’t get things right, why my relationships sucked, why I couldn’t handle emotional things, why I kept so many feelings of guilt, shame, hurt and pain… THEN… I went to RECLAIM… and Dr Kaye and the other reclaimers helped me see that my sexual abuse was NOT MY FAULT and I didn’t deserve to have to carry the guilt.  It was not my shame.  It was his shame for touching me… I am learning to clean up my life thru ReClaim and Dr Kaye and I am so happy to say that I have family in the class now getting their healing.. IT’S TIME LADIES… time to RECLAIM OUR LIVES… GOD BLESS

    • Anonymous

      It’s amazing what the ReClaim process does for us, isn’t it?  Every time I teach it I get more out of it. Eva — the world needs ReClaim.  There are tens of millions of us out there.  Everyday, I get mail from all over, who ask for help.  ReClaim has to be taken to the world.  We have to do it…together.
      DR. K

      • Anonymous

        Yes DR Kaye!!! I know the Arabic community needs it more then ever and I can wait to bring this into our community/church more… God is in the midst healing our lives and restoring us… What he ordains us to do, we must do. I so glad you are listening and doing his will. I know ReClaim has changed my life and its moving thru the roots if my family… Praying for you and the ReClaimers for a great OCTOBER… Time to REMOVE those MASKS of shame and Costumes of guilt ladies and be who God created us to be!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    This Reclaim conference has been amazing, I remember praying for years to see if I needed to attend Reclaim, however I believe that God wanted me to specifically attend this conference. He always knows us better than we know ourselves. It has been so freeing to talk about my molestation with others who understand. I know that I have never talked about it before because I felt like people would look at me differently. I am so thankful for my Reclaim sisters. I now understand the bond that exists between them even better. I felt loved, supported and more importantly understood. I had several breakthroughs including: no longer carrying guilt about my behavior as a child, as I was exposed to pornography at a really young age and began acting out based on what I had seen. Realizing that this exposure + the molestation had basically “groomed me for sex” (Whoa!).  Realizing that I was truly innocent and that the decisions that others made around me impacted me.
     
    I thank God for Reclaim and for the process.

    • Anonymous

      We are so thankful for you, my sister.  You are loved.  My heart is touched that you have found breakthrough already.  Just hold on to your seat…more is coming…it gets better and better.  LY a bunch. Dr. K

  • Anonymous

    This Reclaim conference has been amazing, I remember praying for years to see if I needed to attend Reclaim, however I believe that God wanted me to specifically attend this conference. He always knows us better than we know ourselves. It has been so freeing to talk about my molestation with others who understand. I know that I have never talked about it before because I felt like people would look at me differently. I am so thankful for my Reclaim sisters. I now understand the bond that exists between them even better. I felt loved, supported and more importantly understood. I had several breakthroughs including: no longer carrying guilt about my behavior as a child, as I was exposed to pornography at a really young age and began acting out based on what I had seen. Realizing that this exposure + the molestation had basically “groomed me for sex” (Whoa!).  Realizing that I was truly innocent and that the decisions that others made around me impacted me.
     
    I thank God for Reclaim and for the process.

    • Anonymous

      I am so happy that you’re finally here.  You will never ever understand how your posts help other ReClaimers.  Yes, you are in a group of women who understand you.  Stay with us kid…we’ve got a long way to go.  Dr. K

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XFVQZHJYQZKRRIKEKSQQHV4Q3A candise

    This week has truly been like no other. I have felt such joy (without the assistance of outside circumstances)…… such peace (in the midst of trials)…… a sense of normality that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Today at lunch I sat outside my job and just admired the St. Johns River- the melodic rhythm of the ripples of waves and the artistry of Gods handiwork. This actually gave me immense pleasure. I realized the chaos in my mind had been silenced and I was able to enjoy the stillness of my soul. This is my second Reclaim conference and it is dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s”. There still more healing that needs to take place, but I have come such a long way from where I started. I remember what a mess I was my 1st conference. Not only was I having to face the issues of my past sexual abuse and rape, but all hell broke loose in my personal life. I wanted to quit to just get relief, but I knew I could not continue to allow the past to destroy my future. So for everyone who is in the “process”, PLEASE hang in there…… there”s light at the end of the tunnel. HONOR THE PROCESS and keep pressing forward. Love you all.

    • Anonymous

      You are the counselingbomb.com.  I love you Candise.  You are my reward.  Thank you for being you. Dr. K

  • kate

    The more I open doors and look inside the more I dicover about myself and what my mini me went through.  I’ve been searhing for answers all my life and finally it’s beginning to go together.  There is some pain but I’m working through it.  mostly seeing were and when the snake entered  my life and how he coiled himself around me and than he got to my 5 year old daughter.  I have wanted to die for that alone and have been haunted for years I wasn’t a good mother.  I trusted my brother when he watched over my kids, never realizingg my step dad had turned him into a “ MONSTER”   Being in this confernence has been the best thing that has ever happened to me,  I will cmplete this classs and find out what GOD has next for me.  Dr. Kaye you are an amazing woman to actually know what I ‘m going through.    Thank your for your love!
    YOU ARE A RARE GEM!!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      Together, we have to keep the monsters out of our houses.  They are everywhere now.  Our children are not safe.  We have to have balance when we protect them.  We don’t want to put fear in our children’s hearts, but we have to make sure they learn there is a boogie man.  Dr. K

  • Juana

    I am so glad that I did not talk myself out of attending Reclaim. The story of my life is finally becoming clear. I feel so much freedom already and I am so excited about future sessions.

    • Anonymous

      I’m even glad-er that you didn’t talk yourself out of coming to ReClaim.  I can tell you that many women do, and that breaks my heart.  I just don’t know what to do when it comes to women who won’t face their abuse.  It controls them so much.  I’m glad you’re gaining such freedom.  Hang in there and keep your seatbelt on!  LOL  Dr. K

  • Dr. K

    Dear ReClaimers — I keep hearing that for some of you it is getting hard. The memories of your abuse are coming back. Like I said, this is part of the process of healing. It’s your little girl revealing her pain to you. She wants to tell you about her. She wants to reveal to you the pain you’ve never let her deal with. You do NOT be afraid of it. This did not happen to you — it happened to her. I ask you just don’t ignore her any longer. Just tell her these words, “I’ve got you now. You are going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. We’re going to get all of this behind us so we can finally feel happy. Love you all. This is it. This is the time to heal. Honor the process of ReClaim.

  • MzTude

    Tuesday was very difficult for me; although I didn’t tell I still felt an amount of pain that was breath taking with this pain I also felt anger, hatred, confusion, frustration etc. These emotions are not good … not for someone like me. I know I need to be there and I know the support is there but I am truly fighting today to make it back on Tuesday. I made a promise I would ‘think about it depending on how I slept on Tuesday … well .. I didn’t sleep on Tuesday because my car broke down, had to be towed, then I couldn’t make it to work on Wednesday and everything that could’ve happened did happen in the misdt of this I must be honest and admit I thought had I not gone to Reclam none of that would’ve happened and my logic was because my car had broken down earlier. I know I must be doing the right thing in accordance to what God has for me BUT … the pain and the anguish is enough to make me walk away. I have always been a fighter and lived the ‘fake it till you make it’ lifestyle … I can’t fight anymore unless that fight comes as me fighting to keep my past in the past. I know it isn’t my fault, I know I didn’t do anything wrong, I know I was an innocent child, I know they are sick nasty bastards that can’t get their rocks off any other way aside of messing with children. I know all of this … yes … I HATE THEM and I said I forgive them but that’s a lie!!!!! …I don’t even know where to begin to forgive them because praying for help in forgiving them would not be sincere. Yes this is a sin and if I were to die I would bust hell wide open but they hurt me and although God said vengence is his … I need to be a part of that. My uncle died several years ago from gettin high like the idiot he was and my sperm donor (biological father) has my 3 little sisters and my little brother and I can’t help them, hell I ca’nt even help myself!!!!! My emotions are all over the place, patience are gone. There is so much more than this … ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Shawn W.

    This is my 2nd go around with Reclaim, and I’m very excited! Not only for myself, but for the “1st timers.” Because I know what’s ahead of them…FREEDOM! Freedom from the shame & guilt! And the chance to move forward with their lives knowing that they were not to blame.

    • Anonymous

      This is your second go around…and this is the last ReClaim like this.  Can you believe it?    Freedom is ours for the taking.  Take it all.  This is our time to heal.  We need to help others to heal.  It is our job.  It is your job now, too.  Dr. K

  • carolyn

    Greetings Dr. K, firstly i must say that i admire and so very grateful to you&staff for your labor of love in helping troubled women like myself get through a very sensitive time in my life where it appears no way out..thank you, thank you!!!
    i have attend counseling almost a year but to no avail. nothing really changed inside until the first evening of the conference when i sat down @table #3. even though i was the 37th signer for the conference after 8:30a.m. (early morning service @the church of jacksonville). i didn’t expect to sit so close..truly grateful. as i sat there in my shyness state..i looked around behind me and glimpse at lots of ladies(my sisters) and realized wow we all have something in common.. i teared for the pain they have suffered and said ok carolyn @ 53years old you are finally getting the help you long for after being abused since the age of 10 to present.. there is deliverance through all that you had to endured. hang in there i encouraged myself.
    my first night was so imformative through your teaching methods. you expressed the inner child that deserves to be healed. Dr. K i had a nightmare after retiring for the night. i asked my son-in-law the next day if he heard me screaming and he replied no.. thank God. after that i had about 2 more dreams of different abusers that abused me.
    on my second night of the conference i am digesting as much as i can and thanks to the love from women at my tables that make me feel so comfortable in sharing my ugly past.. we all are in the same boat left with marks on our souls and have been violated by sick people.
    this is difinitely a wonderful birthday gift for myself as my birthday is approaching 23rd October i couldn’t have treated myself any better than to sign up for this conference. i am excited and looking forward in RECLAIMING my life once and for all and moving on with what’s ahead with clarity.
    Again THANKS for saying the things i never thought to say only think inside..you fight or take a flight…enough is enough.
    with kind regards, i am
    carolyn

    • Dr. K

      You are so welcome. Thank you for your kind words. One of the things I always say to ReClaimers is “weep for yourself and weep for others.” When I look at the women in the room my heart hurts so much. How is it possible that we’ve all been through so much. But, think of it this way — God has chosen us to be healed. I’m very grateful. I totally agree with you. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. ReClaim your life Now.!!! Love You a bunch..

  • Erin

    This may sound strange, but I actually learned a lot and loved the introduction of Dr. Kaye. When the lady introduced her as the ghostbuster, this was just kind of an ah-ha moment for me as I thought, this is exactly what is needed. Someone that has the right bag of tools and the right training to be willing to go in and pull out ghosts. Further, there was the realization that if I or others have ghosts within, I/they will not be able to be truly free so I/they must be willing to let the ghosts free. I also loved the emphasis placed on the importance of taking care of yourself. Often, I get busy or in a routine and forget to take the time to care for myself. It is easy to take care of myself just physically, or just spiritually, but to remain balanced physically, spiritually, relationally, and emotionally is sometimes a challenge. Finally, I loved the focus on the process and the examples given, including the tennis, as I am a tennis player:)

    • Dr. K

      Erin — to see you last night, made my entire day. You don’t have any idea the vision I see in you. You are an incredible woman and a gift to the world. Let me help you get to it. Take ALL of ReClaim in, become like a little child….God has his eye on you. LY Dr. K

      • Erin

        Thank you!!

  • Katwill911

    I attended the second ReClaim class, and have been with ReClaim ever since. After each conference, I leave thinking, “this was such a great conference, I got so much out of it, this is it, this is the conference of all conferences.” I continue to be amazed, because although, each conference have the same objective, there Is always key ingredient that make it sweeter and sweeter each time! I look forward to each week.

  • Kisha

    Last night was my second night of Reclaim, and my first time getting back in touch with that little girl that lives inside of me. She is such a sad little person. I came here not really knowing what to expect, but Dr. K, along with the other wonderful women is helping me to see that there is hope for me and that I can live again. There are some things that I’m having a hard time with like, something just as simple as talking. I have been this timid, little girl with no voice for so long that I freeze or tense up when I have to talk about it. I’m trying to get past this and I know in time, I will. I have never really felt loved by anyone, but being here helps me to know that I can love and be loved. It’s time for me and this little girl to go our separate ways. I am ready to get to know the person that I was meant to be.

    • Dr. K

      Kisha…that little girl on the inside of you needs you to love her. She deserves to be loved. She did nothing. You can live again…and you will live you life large. I love you. I mean it. You are dear to me, and you know what, I don’t even really know you — but I do know this…you are a great person. You will come what you were meant to be all of your life. Don’t let another day go by without believing this. Do you hear me young lady. I’m on your side.

      • Kisha

        Thanks Dr. K. I really needed to hear that.

  • kate

    Last night I told my story for the first time in my life. I’ve always felt like a failure at everything I’ve ever done and as the years piled on more shame, discust, low self esteem and anger I couldn’t imagine anything else for my life. Last year I started referring to myself the monster and me the thing lived inside me. Why wasn’t I normal like everyone else I questioned GOD why did this happen to me, why didn’t you protect me? How do I love if I’ve never been taught.? If I didn’t agree with my family they put up a invisable boundary and would ignore me.
    I know now i’m not a monster just that I’ve been looking for love where I could get it and have been searching for that all my life. I didn’t deserve being abused , beat up and trashed. I was a little girl and I depended on my family to keep me safe. I heard all my life that I wasn’t wanted and after I heard it so long I didn’t care. It was hard for me to tell my story and when i first was asked i didn’t know what to do. I’ve never put it in words before. I wasn’t ready for that but now I’m living in reality and I see how it was in my life, its a wonder I wasn’t committed! I Thank God for you Dr. Kaye hugs to you all!

    • Dr. K

      Hey, you are NOT a failure. You are awesome. You have to realize that the little girl, your mini-me was the one who was made to feel worthless. YOu are NOT worthless. And neither is she. She was innocent. She was violated. She was a child. How dare they touch her!!!!! I send you a big hug right here.

  • Yolanda

    Last nite was my first time I describe what my father done to me as a child. It was hard but I did it.

    • Dr. K

      This is what you needed to do all of your life. You needed to do your TELLING. It is your key to freedom. God for you. You told his dirty little secret. Now put the shame on him. Accept your innocence. Are you listening to your mama, here?

  • Dr. K

    Yes, you are going to get through this — and the monster is going to go away. He will be permanently destroyed. You will be a new you. Each ReClaim I get a new song about the people in it. This one, the song “You Are So Beautiful” keeps playing over and over in my mind. It is so true — the women in this room are just so beautiful to me. The countenance in this room is just so sweet. My heart is so touched by such great women.

  • Jolene

    I just wantedto Thank all the women that came to the conference last night.. You ahve taken a HUGE step toward your freedom.. I look forward to the day I can see you and look into your hearts and see NO shame and No more hurt! I want each and every one of you to continue to come and know that there is light at the end of that tunnel on the football field!!! Dr Kaye will hold your hand and you WILL be able to walk alone.. I can not express the feeling of freedom I had on my 1st day out of Reclaim.. No Shame, No Hurt! It was gone as if I had just blinked and poof my heart was healed! Again Thank you for coming.. and I look forward to seeing your new freedom! You deserve to heal <3

  • Lin

    Last night I told on Daddy…and the two rapists…there’s more to tell…I guess it didn’t occur to me until this morning that an ex-husband was also sexually abusing me…It’s hard to do the “telling”…from foggy bits. Last session I was introduced to my “inner child”, this session my “inner child” spoke…This morning these words were on my mind before I even got out of the bed…I TOLD ON YOU…after my husband went to work I crumbled into a deep cry…I said these words out loud…I DESERVE TO HEAL…I’m still in a terrible struggle with something that seems bigger & stronger than me…

    • Dr. K

      Lin — I want you to continue to honor the process of ReClaim. I know it is hard — but healing is just around the corner. You are precious to me and to ReClaim. I’m so mad at what happened to you. That was NOT right. It’s okay to cry. I told someone here tonight, I always say to ReClaimers “Weep for yourself, and weep for others.” What happened to us is horrible. WE deserved to be protected. But, we weren’t — so now we must protect ourselves and ReClaim our own lives. You ReClaim you — you are worth it.

  • Anonymous

    I LOVE RECLAIM!!! Can I shout it from the rooftops?? At first, I thought it would be scary being a part of it because I would be confronting the scary things that happened. But no!! I have laughed and LEARNED how to get rid of the BOOGIE MAN. I have seen, actually SEEN the little girl in me that needed to be rescued. I can love her now, like she she should have been loved THEN. Therefore, I can really love me. One change is I am willing to invest in growing and having good, healthy relationships. I know now that the healthier I am mentally, the more STUFF I deal with straight on the better it will be for me and everyone who could love me. Getting rid of the bad and keeping the Good ;-) ) I am laying it down and like a seesaw, the other side is coming up ;-) )

    • Dr. K

      I love every word you’ve written. It is so powerful. I want you to invest in you…you will have healthy relationships. Goodness awaits you. Let the seesaw arise…and when you jump off — let the junk go flying in the air.

  • Towanda

    Dr. Kaye, I thank God for you! Since I went through Reclaim, my life has changed for the better. For years I thought I was an awful person, and the sexual abusive was my fault!! I thought I had a sexual demon in me as to why it kept happening to me. I felt I had a sign across my forehead that read, come and abuse me. I was quiet, sad, depressed & withdrawn for years, had no idea why until Reclaim!! Reclaim has taught me it wasn’t my fault, I am a woman of worth. I can love my husband, children and myself properly. Reclaim helped me reclaim my life back! I’m no longer ashamed!

    Thank you Dr. Kaye/Momma Kaye

    • Dr. K

      YOu better believe your abuse was not your fault. I think that’s one of the biggest crimes ever is when the child leaves this horrible stuff — and feels at fault. I used to feel like that — until I chose to see myself innocent. I was a child…a little girl. I deserved to be protected. I ReClaim my life everyday…and I call it beautiful. PS. Thank you for the bling…beautiful…so kewl.

  • sarabell

    Reclaim really is an emotional roller coaster for me. I get mad at the injustice and the loss of innocence of my fellow sisters. I cry when they cry, I hurt when they hurt, I feel numb, I feel lost, I feel like a little girl again, I feel detached, isolated, alone, and then re- attached, affirmed, and not alone. During Reclaim, we often feel ashamed, as if people will judge us, scared, and as if we are over it. After our telling’s, we feel relieved, vindicated, closer, as if someone can relate to us, lighter, and forever changed. We may have nightmares, flashes, and times of emotional whirlwinds, but in the end; we know everything is going to be OK

    • Dr. K

      Sara…my friend, my dear friend. I want you to go with me around the world. You are such a wonderful woman. Wow oh wow…look at Sara and Dr. K go…run Sara run…keep up with me. LOL

  • Chandra Scott

    I will be attending my first meeting in two weeks. I can’t wait because I need to be free. I’m suppose to be saved and still bound by the monster. I think I posted on here before. My older brother started molesting me when I was 7, up until he got me pregnant. He and my sister are my moms favorites. I got whist off to an unwed mothers home, he ran off to the marines. In 2006, I found the woman that adopted my baby, only to find out that he died at age 4. But even now I struggle because I have nobody to talk to or love me and that understands. I am a published author and my book is called “From victim to victory, finding true love in God”. You can go to Xlibris.com and purchase it, I’m not trying to make money from it, I just want to expose the devil. I can’t keep a relationship because of this. I want the loving little girl that I stated off being before I lost my virginity. My life has been so gloomy, I hope you all can help me. I am willing to share my story if you want me to. I have nothing to hide.

    • Dr. K

      I look forward to meeting you. I’m going to send you an email. Diane is a wonderful friend of ReClaims…we love her.

  • Nina

    I began this conference last week and for the first time I “feel” innocent. I had already come to terms with accepting that I was innocent I just hadn’t felt it yet. I am very grateful for the work Dr. Kaye is doing to heal the many women out there just like me. My overall and overwhelming feeling is GRATEFUL.

    • Dr. K

      NIna — YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN innocent. You are an incredible woman with so many gifts. I want you to get some fight inside you. Help me tag millions free. What happened to us was so wrong. We have to tell tens of millions they were innocent, too. I can’t rest until I tell them. Help me…help me…please

  • Nikki

    This conference has finally solidified my own innocence in my mind. I feel totally free from the shame, guilt and fear that has held me back for years. I feel like I finally have wings to be who I am and not hide from the world.

    • Dr. K

      I want you to fly. I want you to fly high. I want you to spread your wings, and like your sister…and me — we were all sooooo innocent. How could we ever thing otherwise. We were children. We will do well, we will not let anything hold us back ever. WE want the abundant life that has been promised to us.

  • Restored

    For a long time I did not realize that I had even been sexually abused. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that God revealed it to me. For so long I thought that the things that I struggled with were normal and that life had it’s ups and downs and that I wasn’t badly affected by my molestation. However, I now realize that I was deceived and that God wants me to be restored back to His original intent. It is amazing how I have had some wrong thinking for decades and did not even realize it. Before Reclaim I had not discussed my abuse with the exception of with two other ladies who had also been abused. I am beginning to realize that some of the thoughts that controlled me were due to early sexualization and that some of the things that I thought I wanted were really just a reenactment of the molestation that I had experienced earlier. I think that God is going to take me to another level and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be set free. I no longer want to have this “thing” control me or my relationships. And I want to forgive those who knew about it but didn’t know how to help me.

    • Dr. K

      What you have said is very powerful, this insight will help you ReClaim every corner of your life. Just keep pressing in to you. Find you in all of this. I am so blessed to read this insight.

  • Linda Archer

    I am looking forward to Tues. to see what Dr. Kay has instore for us. I know that it will be awesome ;0)

  • Linda Archer

    Each time I choose to step out and be a part of Reclaim, I find lots of opposition, either through my finances, my life at home, or through my health. I gain so much every time I come to the confrences, and I become stronger inside of me. I somethimes feel like the woman who just wanted to touch the hem of Jesus garment to be healed. Everytime I show up I gain new healing. I have seen so many of my Reclaim sisters grow and get more of there healoin, this brings great joy into my life to know that others are getting the healing that I am receiving. We are changing the world one person at a time, when I am in a class, meeting, or conference, everyone who comes gets there healing. Dr. Kaye is constantly amazing me with giving us just what we have all needed. Thank you Dr. Kaye for loving us and helping us like no other person has. I love you very much,

    • Dr. K

      YOu are a significant part of ReClaim. You are a true friend of me and ReClaim. I call you faithful. There WILL BE great things in store for you. God is shaping your life. This I know. You will be peaceful and you will be one who will ReClaim all of your life. Do you know how I know because you are my true friend. LY a dillion

  • Lin

    It’s Sunday. On one hand…I know I’m a child of God and have been since 1979…I do believe and am passionate about the Gospel…that God sent Jesus to pay the death penalty for ALL sin and I am redeemed…but…I just want to say that abuse…starting with childhood abandonment, molestation, incest, rape, and porn…have all made it difficult for me to process the depth of certain scriptures for years. I’ll give an example: “I am a new creature, in Christ…really? Old things are passed away”…really? There’s more – I’m hoping to see and be able to say these scriptures and others from another perspective…one of real believing…cuz right now I feel as though the “wholeness” I’m supposed to have as a child of God has always been just out of reach…all my efforts are nothing more than an exercise in futility. I’m hoping my experiences with ReClaim will address these hollow places. Glad Tuesday is nearby.

  • sarabell

    I have been helping Dr. Kaye for three years, but I enjoy and learn so much from each one of her conferences. This is the only progam that works. I was happy to meet new people as well as see my sister hood. I am exicted to about what Relciam has in store for the future!

  • kate

    Everyday since last Tuesday so many things have begun swirling around in my head. I go from short pieces of my memory opening to understanding and cringing and wanting to die, Its like opening Pandora’s box all over again. I’m shaking and numb and angry!

  • Openmouth

    I am so GLAD I am getting to experience this RECLAIM. The information you are giving is so life changing. I am speechless in so many words.

    • Dr. K

      Thank you so much. Speechless, eh? That’s good. It means you are hearing what was said. It means you have begun to not over think — but to honor the process of ReClaim.

  • Kisha

    A couple of nights ago, I attended my first Reclaim session and it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I have been accustomed to masking and covering up for so long that I felt like I was totally naked, and now everybody knows “my secret”. I was a little overwhelmed with emotions but would not display the sadness that I truly felt because I am so used to hiding, it has become natural to hide my true feelings. I had to realize that I was in a safe place, and this was my place and time to start my healing process. The little girl inside of me has been a prisoner for far too long, and it’s time to set her free. I am ready to live. I want my life back. I can not allow what happened to me to control me any longer.

    • Dr. K

      You are not alone in masking and covering up. WE’ve all done it. I was a super professional as faking it until I made it. The problem is that I discovered was my pain followed me everywhere. And, then one day I decided to look at it square in the face. It was hard, I can’t tell anything but the truth. But, once I looked at my pain, once I put the blame where it was supposed to be….I finally found me. YOu are right — don’t allow this control you one other day of your life.

  • Dr. K

    You have only just begun to ReClaim your life. You just wait — you are going to be FREE as a bird…and then I want you to help me set thousands of others free. I LY. Just be faithful and honor the process of reclaim.

    • MzTude

      Thank you Momma Dr. K!!! I have EVERY intention of doing so. I wasn’t sure until now where I need to focus. It’s still a long dark scary road. I don’t cry but EVERYtime I think about this I cry which is why I had not thought about it; you know …. swept it under the rug.
      The other day I had a revelation; my mother I will always love but I truly don’t like. I was the black sheep and my sister was her favorite. She is where I first found rejection and in the molestation I was cursed with is where I found what so many now days confuse as a loving touch. I am a firm believer of children live what they learn. I would be truly honored to be one of your facilitators. Please tell me where and when I can sign up. Helping others is also a way of me healing. Thank you again.

      • kate

        You just said what my life was , My mom would say go away I’m trying to make your sister pretty.!!

  • Kisha

    A couple of days ago, I attended my first Reclaim session, and it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I have been accustomed to masking and hiding for so long that I felt like I was totally naked, and now everybody knows “my secret” but I had to come to terms with knowing that it was ok and that I was in a safe place. I have been suppressing the little girl inside of me for so long and I am tired of holding her prisoner, it is time to set her free. I had to realize that what happened to me was not my fault and I can not allow it to control me any longer. I have found the right place and I’m ready to move forward with my healing process.

    • Lin

      Hi Kisha; I relate to everything you said; I had to respond to something specific; you said: “It’s time to set her free”. It’s my first ReClaim too, and as I thought about that I realized how afraid I am to set my inner child free for fear…there’s no one in my life these days that would hurt me in those ways anymore…and yet…for fear, I hide her still. Thank you for putting those words out where I could see them. It really is time.

  • kate

    All my life I’ve wanted to have friends that accept me for me. I thought if I wore nice clothes or had things like everyone else than I would be normal and have friends. I would be with the educated to pretend I was somebody. I was known at school as the girl with the green coat anytime of the year. I remember a boy named Les that called me lump jaw. I didn’t know why he was calling me that , I slunk down into my self more. first time I was abused by my brother it was a cold dreary day. My skin remember’s. I’m feeling like shell today not happy not sad but alone isolated like always no desire to do anything but write in this blog. I constantly hear this your not good enough in my head, but than I hear your not guilty! Some of the things Dr. Kaye sent shocks through me and at one point I pulled my blanket up to my face so I could only see because how could someone know me and how I felt, epecially when she said I felt frozen. I remember being in that state many times as I just couldn’t do anything but lay there and let it happen. I can remember the time I heard someone call me by my name I shuddered when heard my name…. As I’m writing this I’m worried will they think I’m wiered, do they really care Am I doing everything right and I’m so tired of making myself perform.

    • Lin

      Hi Ms Kate: Is this your first ReClaim Conference? It’s my first one…I’ve been living the words you write…in fact, there’s an element of surprise and wake up deep in me that still shudders when I hear my name spoken out loud…even when people look me in the eye…all these years later…you’re not weird…I’m just like you…be encouraged…I really do believe in our recovery…I believe we can do this…with Dr K’s help and guidance…

      • kate

        Hi Ms. Linn : This is my first time at ReClaim conference too and I’m glad that i came. The thought that you reached out to me is so dear to me. Thank you! . We can do this and I’ll be there every step of the way with you and Dr. Kaye with guide us through the mine fields. There are so many of us and to know that finally I can just let the walls fall down and be this person that I’ve been discovering. I’m starting to feel set free! I don’t even know what to say! :)

  • Toni Atwood

    I plan to attend any and every thing I can about Reclaim. My breakthrough has been the most dramatic thing that has ever happened in my life. Reclaim is all about every hurting, down trodden women that enters that room. I remember the first time I walked in there. I thought to myself “I really don’t think I can be helped” It was so long ago (the first time I was raped) I thought I had to live with it the rest of my life. Praise God I was wrong. From the first time I come in the confrerence until now has been wonderful!!!!! I am a new person.
    Dr.Kaye was outstanding as always, in the way she talked about why we feel the way we do. Of course, I always enjoy meself. Being with sisterhood means a lot in this kind of meeting, I pray that every lady that walked in that room will be a Reclaimer when the convention is over . There were a lot of new ladies and they all seem to understand what Dr. Kaye was telling us. There were things in the teaching for me also. There is always something I learn every time I come, there is more more for me. As for me, I will be there this coming Tuesday night. Please join me. Life Is Good

    • Dr. K

      I could NOT ever have a meeting without my friend Toni there. You bring sunshine to my life. You are the bomb dot com! ILY a bunch and a bunch.

  • breimjustme

    I feel so alone. I feel as though I’ve frozen and the world has continued without me. I’m sad and I’ve began to have nightmares. I’m remembering things I wish I didn’t. On Tuesday during the introductions I didn’t have a dream to share, but I have one now. My dream is to be happy and smile (a real one) again. I’m believing that by the end of this conference I will be closer to my dream, despite what I’m feeling now.

    • Dr. K

      You have ONLY just BEGUN to dream. You just wait. There is a BIG plan ahead for your life. Your dream is just a few nights away. LY always

  • kate

    Last night I attended my first ReClaim class, it was intense at times and the tears flowed down my face but it felt good to wash it away. To know what I have been feeling and no where to turn to, my family just said “get over it” did it happen to them NO it didn’t and I couldn’t just get over it. For the first time I didn’t feel out of place but wanted and excepted, I have ached in my heart and felt cheated to know what it is like to be a little girl. I watch my granddaughters and see the innocence and wonder what I would have been. I’ve lived with this monster in me that I’ve abused and hated for so long. I’m going to get through this and I’m going to be a new me!!!

    • Dr. K

      You are precious to me. No one ever has the right to tell some who has abused to just get over it. You have the absolute right to reclaim your life. Remember this — I’m on YOUR side.

      • kate

        Dr. K no one has ever said that I’m precious to them. I’m starting to live in reality and it hurts. They tolerated me they didn’t really want me around and now I can see it so clear. Everyday since I moved here in July I know I’m in the right place at the right time. Thank you for your understanding love for someone you just met.

        • Dr. K

          You are easy to love. You were a child. You should have been protected. You MUST ReClaim every tiny part of your life that was stolen. YOu are in the right place for the right time, and for such a time as this. God must have something special for your life.

    • MzTude

      OMG Kate!! I have goose bumps reading this. I too watch other children and wonder what my live could’ve been had my childhood not been stolen. We will get through this … we will get through it together.

      • kate

        Mz T Sometimes I lay on my bed and wrap my arms around myself and pretend its the little girl inside me that needs a hug I can remember the child that hid and never talked because she was afraid of what would happen if she did. I always wanted to call my mother Mommy and was so afraid that at 64 years old I finally can do that.

        • MzTude

          You know Kate. I call my mother Mommy and I always have at the same time I feel betrayed by her. I was never able to tell her about the abuse I suffered. She hated my father, I would’ve too with the things he’d done to her but it is sad I couldn’t trust her with her brother and her ex husband my father making me their sex toy. I use to try and hug her she used to push me away and tell me no, it’s too hot, I’m too tired it was always some excuse. There were times when she would hug me back but that affection was not there. It was like the more she pushed me away the more I drew to her; what’s with that? Crazy right? Know what’s crazier? I’m the same way now with her. The little girl inside she is so hurt and so damaged I wonder if she even exists anymore. WE need to make a decision to set ourselves free (me especially). Love you!!!!

      • kate

        When my granddaughters are with me I’m a little girl too, we have a lot of fun and I get a glimpse of what it is like. Mz. Tude I already feel close to you with this common bond we share. Higs !!!!

    • Dr. Kaye

      Tears are okay in ReClaim. I’ve certainly shared my fair share. You’re right we don’t just get over it. No one can just get over their abuse. You are not different than your granddaughters. You were as innocent as they were. You do NOT own this shame — the persons who did this to you — it’s there shame. NOT YOURS!!! You are going to be a new me. I LY a bunch. Hang in there with me…we’ve got a world to heal.

  • Cocoabutterchef

    I have been with Dr. Kaye and ReClaim for about 3 years now, and I am always amazed how the flow of these conferences go. To listen to every word that comes out of Dr. Kaye’s mouth and to see how each and every person is impacted. I am always impacted! I am always challenged to go deeper and rediscover me. It is a wonderful unfolding, all thanks to ReClaim and Dr. Kaye. My heart is still deeply saddened because there are so many women out there who could absolutely benefit from what is being taught, but they don’t take advantage of it for various reasons. I have NEVER not for one moment regretted being a part of ReClaim. My life is not the same, I am not the same. Last night was awesome, and I am looking forward to the weeks to come…..see you there!

  • Lin

    Last night I attended my first ReClaim session; I don’t know how to express the conflicted energies running rampant in my soul, but I do know this one thing…after last night, my inner child has a face…a clearly recognizable face…an identity…a voice…she is me…It hurts to look at her…it hurts to hear her…I’d spent my who life trying to make her shut up…disappear…die…I starved her…I neglected her…I drugged her…I denied her…I wanted to abandon her…after all, that’s what everyone else did. Connecting myself to her after all this time is beyond overwhelming…I don’t know how to love her or what to do for her…I just cry…I’m crying as I type…I just hate that this even happened to her…to me…

    • Domingo

      “Lin”, when I read your post I began to cry….you’re not alone I felt as if you were reading my mind. I realize that I constantly feel a need to be strong and NEVER let anyone take advantage of me because when I look at my inner child I want to blame her….why couldn’t the six year me do more to get help, why didn’t I yell or keep telling more adults until someone did something. Maybe if that six year had been stronger (more and more vocal) then maybe the abuse would not have continued until I was fourteen escalating from fondling to penetration among the least of things. Thank you for having the courage to put your heart felt words on this blog, because it empowered me to know that I am not alone and that this conference is going to help me and my inner child to “get better” and not feel hopeless and alone anymore.

      • Lin

        Exactly; I blame her and I still hate her – all I have are questions without answers…questions I can’t seem to find words for…and I’m drowning in them…in the meant time I’m determined to continue…I won’t quit…matter of fact…I started a journal just for this conference…I will write in it every day…and today when I woke up I said out loud in the shower: I AM INNOCENT, I WAS A CHILD, HE HAD NO RIGHT TO TOUCH ME, I DO WANT TO TAKE MY LIFE BACK…amazingly it did make a difference…but then, I don’t really know what taking my life back means. Thank you for touching my heart by responding – I do know in the larger sense that we really are not alone…we’ve just been made to feel that way for so long that there’s nothing in our reference that says THIS IS WHAT “UN-ALONE” IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE…we don’t know any better…I certainly don’t…

    • Cocoabutterchef

      Hang in there Lin, you are certainly not alone now! We are here for you! You are in a safe place now! We love you

      • Lin

        “I’m Not Alone”..that’s an entirely new experience, too…that I’m not alone…I’m not believing it, yet…even though there’s a room full of women JUST LIKE ME…I’m not sure who I’m more disgusted with…my inner child…or my Dad…or the fact that there are so many people just like me out there…I’m so many things…but really mostly disgusted…

    • Dr. K

      You are so brave to face all of this at this time. I know it is overwhelming, but PLEASE let me help you through this process. I will work very hard to make sure you remain okay as you reclaim your life. You deserve to heal…and I mean that!

      • Lin

        I already love you Dr.K…I’ve only known of you for two months…I had no idea you were the founder/leader of ReClaim when I first inquired about it…what I received from what you held forth our first night, as difficult as it was and still is, is actually far more relief than I’ve had all my life. I won’t quit.

  • Newby

    I can not wait for the information that’s about to come. I keep telling everyone, you just wait and see how different I will be in November once this conference is over!